Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Oh shit! This is giving me the ******* shudders....
downtime 13
You opened your eyes before you counted to 20 AND you can't even find him? I wouldn't be surprised if he just left, you're the worst hide and seek player ever.
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Comments (228)
furfantasies 0
Sleep with one eye open tonight.
john6155 1
Evacuate the house immediately
Kony12 0
Worst. Acid. Ever.
MissAmz 7
I was imagining a huge-fanged, eight legged demon from hell until you mentioned that it 'hopped'. Then thought that was kinda cute. Not sure why. Sorry everyone. +_+
justhanging 6
Google "camel cricket" and see if you still think it is cute ;-)
MissAmz 7
I had a look... Very interesting looking! How big do they grow?
justhanging 6
According to Wikipedia, their bodies can be up to 2 inches long and legs up to 4 inches long. That seems a bit bigger than the ones I've seen, but they are big and creepy looking (and harmless).
mickyb10 13
Just keep in mind the big spiders eat bugs DONT USUALLY BITE PEOPLE
sully011 0
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find that big ass spider and kill it
bentleysbabe9610 3
Oh HELL no. Those things scare me to death. Hope you find it!!
fthku 13
Just go to sleep, most spiders aren't deadly to humans, so the chances of this one being one of those few is small. Probably.
99megster 15
Wow, that must be so reassuring for the OP! Hahaha
justhanging 6
Sounds like a camel cricket. Harmless, and while large and nasty looking, really not the size of your palm -- stop exaggerating. Look up Rhaphidophoridae on Wikipedia.
wironandine 8
It was a dream