Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Oh shit! This is giving me the ******* shudders....
downtime 13
You opened your eyes before you counted to 20 AND you can't even find him? I wouldn't be surprised if he just left, you're the worst hide and seek player ever.
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Comments (228)
PlaidPanda 9
I read this as I was lying down to go to sleep, needless to say, I'm sleeping with the lamp on, **** that shit OP. I guess at least it's not one of this dinner plate sized Australian spiders.
Leigh_Badd 1
Omg!! I just googled an Australian spider. Almost dropped my phone. *gets the chills*
alitheMC 6
Use the mageblade on it
liscentious23 1
That's counterproductive, besides unless the spider was poisonous, I really don't see why people are freaking out over spiders...
SkoomaKi 28
Flood your house! That way, the spiders will **** off and get washed out the house. I hate them more than all evil combined.
42istheanswer 27
*singing* down came the rain and washed the spider out.
acidfoxxx 0
Why is everyone in this world ******* now? Its No fuking wonder the terrorists are gonna win. Spiders are great, they eat other bugs and pests. One that size is helping keep ur house mouse free. I let my tarantula bite me, just so I knew what it felt like, now mind u I wouldn't do it again. The worst part was pulling it off cause the fangs are kinda curved like a hook. Man up! Ur only a 100 times it's size.
yoursucklives 36
so many dumb things in this comment...
charvisioku 22
Translation: "I believe all of the propaganda on the war on terrorism, and it's completely relevant to this thread on spiders! Here's why you should man up and stop being freaked out by the spider: it's big enough to kill a small mammal without any problems and its hooked fangs allow it to get a good grip when it bites you, so you won't even be able to just shake it off! See? Why on earth would that scare anyone? Pussy."
illabye 0
I'm scared for my ******* life now... I live in MD too... It could be on it's way to my house...
mrsstaken 12
I grew up in MD & have a wolf spider in my closet. That sh!t was huge, furry and it jumps & bites!
nevereyes 31
Sounds about as big as my pet tarantula and she can hide mighty well. You'll probably never find that spider....... It will find you
babe7260 30
I saw a spider on the ceiling last week, as I was going to bed. I thought I'd leave it alone cuz I was too tired to get up & deal with it..... I woke up with a huge ass spider bite on my leg!!!! Find that ****** before it finds you!!!
ucoolgirl31 20
One time on Halloween my mom went in the garage and saw a wolf spider bigger than that and thought we put it there to scare her. Than it started jumping....
99megster 15
Omg, ****. I'm so scared right now it's not even funny! Gigantic spiders should NOT be able to jump!
ucoolgirl31 20
Yeah I agree... They already scare the crap out of us just by beig ginormous and they get to jump 20 feet...
charvisioku 22
Ugh I gotta admit I'd end up not sleeping again for months... well thank you for making me get out of bed any way; it's getting late and I'm now convinced there's a damn tarantula in my sheets
ScarNuts 8
Was I the only one who use to check every sheet in my bed before I went to sleep?