Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
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Top comments
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Oh shit! This is giving me the ******* shudders....
downtime 13
You opened your eyes before you counted to 20 AND you can't even find him? I wouldn't be surprised if he just left, you're the worst hide and seek player ever.
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Comments (228)
AntonioMontana 0
leave it alone and you may live through the night..
Keiren 14
Nuke.From.Orbit.
kzx10 2
I'm laying in bed reading, now I' paranoid that there's one in my bed out to get me!
tencentsakiss 19
We really don't... Op was dreaming, exaggerating, or can't tell a spider cricket from a spider.
StalwartKitten 4
They're called camel crickets. They like damp, dark places and won't hurt you but they are pretty scary when they jump knee level. Good luck!! Another reason why I have cats.
dinos_gorohr 8
Omfg I would prolly cry.
AwesomeEDNathi 1
Yea bro u gotta get outta there ... Bug bomb it a couple of times
KunoKanashimi 3
Burn your house down and move to Russia. Don't look back, OP.
1DRuleMyLife 2
Ewwww. I would die if that happened to me...FYL, OP.
crazyluvbug 8
IT'S IN YOUR HAIR!!!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!