Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Forever alone
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Self-confidence boost
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Shark Week
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (276)
Floatout2sea 0
I fail to see how this is a F YOUR life. This is an F HER life! That is just SO cruel, and what's worse is your more worried about your own embarrassment than her feelings!
thor82188 0
LMFAO!!! dude that's pretty good. i would've high-fived you if i was there. and to everyone calling him an asshole, please STFU. it's funny. and if the girl is ugly then whatever, she's ugly. she should know that by looking in the mirror.
2PMbaby 0
More like FHL for being humiliated by an asshole like you. #106, you're just as bad.
noclevername 0
What on earth? Even if you knew she was nowhere around, the humour is on par with standing up and shouting "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME BEING A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BOY LOOK AT ME." Learn to be a real person before you speak anymore. :)
Zoa_fml 0
I see....you're one of thoooose people! You suck at life!
jessxoxo28 5
wow- u really suck ur never gonna get a girl if ur like that...
derfboy23 0
tact... you should learn it. idiot
TheGivenChild 0
idk if someone already said this, but to #13's post, Donkey was there. They were the OP on this FML lol
Gringo_fml 0
prick...
cdonnae 0
wow, that was unnecessarily rude... douche.