Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
deja54 0
Well that's what you get for being a jackass.
sjam 0
You got what you deserved, you shallow asshole. I hope your entire class never forgets it.
_Sazzle 0
Mean! YDI
Jenniferlee1993 0
well that was stupid.
failwhatwhat 0
i dont feel sorry for douchebags. lets try not to be such an asshole next time. i think that girl should probably have an FML for this because is sucks for her worse than you.. now shes gonna go around thinking shes shrek (and it may even be true)
Brett2873 0
How the **** would u not figure shed be in the room? Sounds to me like most everyone from the trip was there. I also agree with 22
ilovemycats 0
FHL is more like it. She must have been mortified. I honestly don't see how this could have been too bad for you.
yesbutnotyou 0
douchebag, who says stuff like that? even if you think it, there's not reason at all for you to say it, whether the other person might be there or not.
SortaBlack 0
Wow your about as funny as a 50 yr old white woman congrats
IAmBridgette 0
YDI. You shouldn't make fun of anyone. Not everyone handles it the same; brushing it off and such. There are people out there with real problems with their self confidence. I hope you're cutting your wrists asshole.