Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
krazykat 0
This is just sad. That poor girl probably feels horrible. I'm not saying that things haven't slipped out from my mouth in the past, so I'm not necessarily judging you...I just think you should be more careful in the future and keep some of your cruel opinions to yourself. Hopefully you learned the hard way? YDI.
thor82188 0
haha @ #124, that's almost like saying "you're not beautiful, but guys will look past that and see your inner beauty" meaning that it's complete bs and just a way to feel good about yourself. other people are thinking it, OP just said it. who GAF. you're just an ugly bitch. i'm j/k. but not really. seriously though, i'm sure that deep down you're a nice girl. and your parents don't really hate you.
LackOfControl 0
Ugh, thats brutal. You could have at least called her 'Fiona'.
babydoll86_fml 0
#123, maybe people care because they have EMPATHY and COMPASSION for other people besides themselves? Geez. OP, you're a jerk. Who says that? Until you're perfect in every possible way, hold off on judging others. If you wouldn't say it to their face, don't say it at all.
sarah2144 14
Why would you say that if she was even in the room? It's even worse that she was next to you, but honestly? You douchebag, you deserved that. Imagine how she feels. Learn some common courtesy before going out in public again.
pinklemons 0
The fml here is that you do not know proper grammar.
AnnaSeptic 0
You're an idiot. I hope she kicked you in the face. And Shrek?? Psh, if you're going to be an asshole, at least get some better insults!
skitz 0
smooth move, douchebag
bucketgirl 0
"A picture of a ugly girl" -> "A picture of an ugly girl." At least she can probably spell, asshole.
kellster 2
Welcome to the fact that you're an asshole.