Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
lolurlifesux 0
Today, was the last day of our surfing trip. We were all sitting together watching a photo montage. A picture of me appears on the screen and I smile thinking I look pretty good. Right then, the obnoxiously ugly dumbass of a boy next to me hollers "I didn't know Shrek could surf!".... in front of everyone. FML
average_girl 0
hahahaah 167 thats prob exactly what the girl was thinking.. if i was that girl i would have been like "oh i knew donkey could talk, but i didnt kno OTHER asses could talk"
Miss_Tyff 0
Wtg for being an inconsiderate asshole and blurting out whatever's on your mind. I feel bad for the girl, not you.
ironyofmylife 0
What the hell is wrong with you.
id0nTgiv3af___ 0
ur a douche
ftsk_fan_12 0
ugh i love how guys always complain about how girls are so annoying because they're so insecure and have low self esteem then they go out and do shit like this.
average_girl 0
172!!!! ur awesome!!!! guys think they can do w/e they want and always be right.... well i have this guy friend right? and we used 2 always get into arguments... i swear on my life that i was ALWAYS right! girls rule!
iloveyoulosers 0
asshole.
jamajuice46 0
I laughed my ass off at this. Laughed more harder at the people who got angry at the OP.
ohhhhshizzz 0
I bet you are ugly as sin. Ugly people, cannot cast judgement. You have peripheral vision if she is so ugly, then you would see her. Dipshit, and as for the people commenting agreeing with you like that thor dude, you are not cute. Nope you aren't. YDI, YDI, YDI.