Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
Bunbu 8
Wow, way to be a total ******* asshole. You deserve more than you got.
kandy_fml 0
Next time, if the only way you can think to try and be funny is by criticizing someone's appearance, than just keep your mouth shut.
thor82188 0
Wow.. #110.. really?! I can honestly say I'm a dick, but I still get girls. Easily. Why the hell would OP want to get with Shrek? All of you calling him an asshole, the majority of you are girls. I would really like to see what you look like, since a lot of you are getting pretty defensive.
eeee93757 0
I hope one day that you're counting on "Shrek" to save you from a dangerous situation....like, if you ever get in a car crash, I hope it's in an empty, desolate place, and "Shrek" is the only one around for miles...and she just drives right on past you You're a ******* douche.
arieanacrust 0
but who was phone?
vicky93 0
lmfao i dont know why people take it so seriously, chill. everyones allowed to tell a joke every once in a whilee. now i personally think that ***** funny lmao
ashweeeee 0
Poor girl, you're an ass....
average_girl 0
wow its not a FYL... u deserved it... its a FHL.... i hope karma comes right around and smacks u in the face... the girl should've written a FML blog on this... assholes like u just piss me off!
RoadkillZoo 0
everyong who is really offended is ugly or fat imo, why else would you care soo much about somthing that dosent even concern you.
sulitak 27
I was made fun of for being a nerd. That's why I'm sensitive about it. There's nothing right about insulting someone else.
purplelady 0
You seem just like that type of guy is jerk and puts other people down in order to compensate for your insecurity about your small penis and poor performance in bed. Don't worry, karma will bite you hard in the ass for all of it one day.