Today, after yet another first date, I was once again told I'm a nice, sweet guy with a rocking body, interesting hobbies, easy to talk to and so on, but she just can't get over how I look like Shrek after a bad car accident, and won't be going on a second date. This is the fourth woman to compare me to Shrek. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy didn’t want to take me on a second date. I asked him if it was because I’m not pretty, or because I’m not catwalk model skinny, or too short, and he told me quite openly that it had nothing to do with that, I’m just so boring. FML
Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML
Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML
Today, I'm 36 and I got told the reason I've never been on a date is because everyone I've asked on a date is too pretty for me and that I needed to look for ugly women. FML
Today, I showed up to my Bumble date with a guy. He looked at me up and down and said, "You look different from the pictures. I pictured you more slimmer." To rub salt in the wound, he proclaimed, "I’d rather staple my nutsack than continue this date. Good luck to you," and walked off. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
On the plus side, you'll probably do well if you invest in green body paint next Halloween.
tiptoppc 21
Cheer up! Sometimes you swing and miss a bit. But as a person who is fat, ugly and at times what I feel is a bit of a loser, I’m in my 5th year of marriage to a cute girl who loves my love handles, is the opposite of me body wise (skinny, short, has hourglass figure) and used to be a model in Japan, sometimes it takes the patience to find someone who finds you irresistible. And I had to go through a horrendous divorce before I scored in this one and years of hell. Trust me, there is someone looking for the real you out there! Don’t get too discouraged. (My wife hates when I compare myself to moe sizlack and refernce the eeny-meeny-mya-moe “kiss the troll abd win a prize” quote)
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Comments (7)
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
On the plus side, you'll probably do well if you invest in green body paint next Halloween.
RichardPencil 32
This is why you wear a bag over your head. Maybe two, you might be a double-bagger. PS: making ear-wax candles isn't an "interesting hobby." Save that nugget for the fourth date or beyond.
tiptoppc 21
Cheer up! Sometimes you swing and miss a bit. But as a person who is fat, ugly and at times what I feel is a bit of a loser, I’m in my 5th year of marriage to a cute girl who loves my love handles, is the opposite of me body wise (skinny, short, has hourglass figure) and used to be a model in Japan, sometimes it takes the patience to find someone who finds you irresistible. And I had to go through a horrendous divorce before I scored in this one and years of hell. Trust me, there is someone looking for the real you out there! Don’t get too discouraged. (My wife hates when I compare myself to moe sizlack and refernce the eeny-meeny-mya-moe “kiss the troll abd win a prize” quote)
spinningrecords 14
I know this girl…. She’s a princess
Yudith 28
One day, you'll find your Fiona. However, she might look like Ogre-Fiona and not Princess-Fiona.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Just like new DC United manager Wayne Rooney. It seems to have worked for him.
imgabella 16
But Shrek is love, shrek is life