Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
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By
jtthegr8
| 26
Condoms... Always handy
By
SierraaaNicoleee
| 26
Surprise!!
COMMENTS
By
PunsY0
| 5
Just get her a great gift and act like you new. Trust me know one will ever notice.
Reply
realSlimjimShady
| 7
What she's already like 19. Kinda difficult to just show up with a gift.
Reply
DogsPaw
| 16
knew* no*
I felt entitled to let you know, I am not a grammar nazi.
Irony is no one will notice the gift, but we will notice those backwards spelling errors.
I felt entitled to let you know, I am not a grammar nazi.
Irony is no one will notice the gift, but we will notice those backwards spelling errors.
Reply
slurshies
| 11
surprise!!
Reply
Field_hockey
| 6
Next time think about protecting that up.
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botanistjessica
| 24
Protecting that up?
Reply
YakuzaxGeneralz
| 9
41. not sure if derp face or just.. ah fuck it.
Reply
jetsown08
| 21
Uhm, you can't just act like you knew you had a daughter when you didn't actually know. I don't think it works that way
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I_lost_the_game
| 25
13- Nowhere does it say she's 19.
Reply
Zomg_Okay
| 26
56 - He forgot the "if". He was saying "What if she is already, like, 19?". The point he was making is that the daughter he just found out about could be a year old or twenty (or more) years old. If she's older, it's not like he can just pop in and act like he's known her since she was born.
Reply
AClassActx3
| 7
The grammar >_
Reply
elmousey
| 5
Furthermore, if she was older why would he want to pretend he's known about her all along? That would just make him seem like a deadbeat. "Hey I'm your dad and although I've known about you your whole life I didn't want or care to see you until now." Vs. telling the truth "Hey I'm your dad I just learned of your existence. I'm sorry I haven't been in your life yada yada bla bla."
Reply
CoolAidIsMyName
| 0
Reply
BradTheBrony
| 19
#68 The grammar is greater than underscore? Can't say I disagree, but why are we talking about usernames?
Reply
asleepingbear
| 8
Your profile pic goes well with you"re comment somewhat
By
jtthegr8
| 26
Condoms... Always handy
Reply
IOmnomHard
| 10
Or if you don't want to risk a broken condom... Hand! Always...handy?
Reply
ladyLALAA
| 28
No glove, no love!
Reply
patrickalamo
| 47
If your gonna tap it make sure you wrap it.
Reply
jtthegr8
| 26
15- hands are usually handy...
Reply
RacerX1695
| 1
Cover before you love her
Reply
IOmnomHard
| 10
Hence the joke. :)
Reply
leprechaun23
| 15
Dont be silly cover your willy
Cover your stump before you hump
Cover your stump before you hump
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Getting a girl pregnant is a bad idea. Getting a woman you're in love with pregnant is a good idea, as long as you both want kids.
Reply
tygerarmy
| 35
I saved 15% on my child support payments by switching to condoms.
Reply
peter27
| 0
OP obviously didn't have any condoms handy when he needed them...
Reply
auzz1_pride
| 9
2) you do know condoms prevent pregnancy by 99.99% So there is always that 0.01 chance that he did use a condom
Reply
Goldenchest
| 14
64 - if you're not saving 100% you're doing something wrong -_-
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darkmis1
| 17
67: Actually it's the pill that prevents pregnancy by 99.99%. A condom prevents it by 95%.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
Use condom + pill. CONDOM + PILL, every damn time. It's just the safest way to do it.
Reply
nado13579
| 12
Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
Reply
mduffy08
| 8
I prefer the good old shirt hanger.
Reply
grrrrmetigers
| 0
birth control... also handy(:
Reply
McNerdyNerd
| 8
67-actually not all the time haha..my bro was a lucky kid who was concieved even though they used condoms AND the pill AND the doc said my mom couldn't get preggo. Some things are meant to be XD
Reply
BenL97
| 5
You're pretty luck as well, considering your mom was also able to get pregnant with you.
Reply
xmaximusx
| 12
You wanna come for a boat ride ?
Reply
withered
| 30
You did not major in statistics, did you?
By
SierraaaNicoleee
| 26
Surprise!!
Reply
blaackandprouud
| 20
Everyone asks me why I hate surprises, this is why. You never know what shit is gonna happen.
Reply
MDTeddy
| 13
The surprize is that someone is mistaking Op for someone else. Anyone who is anyone would know if they came inside or not.
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kayliers
| 5
Worst surprise ever.
By
GRubi
| 17
Well I hope she is younger rather than older! At least you'll have more birthdays with her that way.
Reply
b0ngs
| 7
not necessarily.
By
ajeyness
| 10
I guess they forgot to tell you... Surprise!
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I_lost_the_game
| 25
How can someone forget to tell you that they have a child? It would usually be the first thing to do, unless they don't want the parent to know.
By
Lovebug105
| 0
Way to be an awesome parent.
Reply
GRubi
| 17
Um... yeah. Kind of hard to be an awesome parent when you don't know you are one...
Reply
qazxfhhfyubchk
| 5
It's not his fault he didn't know!
Reply
RoperGirl203
| 9
Uh yeah actually it is his fault. Maybe if he were to, oh I don't know, maybe use a condom? He wouldn't have to worry about this. If you're going to go around fucking girls, be safe or stay in touch.
Reply
raraisbang
| 12
Or, 104, maybe the mom was an ass and chose not to tell him (perhaps it was a bad breakup or something of the sort), and then later he found out somehow.
Assumptions, assumptions.
Assumptions, assumptions.
Reply
ohmandapants
| 16
Yeah 104, because condoms never fail right? If the mom never let him know, was he magically supposed to guess that she was pregnant? Not all of us have psychic powers.
Reply
xmaximusx
| 12
Thumbs down lol
By
purplenerple8
| 6
Surprise!
Reply
skoob1
| 12
you're an original one...
Reply
BradTheBrony
| 19
Of course he is! He used ONE exclamation point instead of two!
By
Herculesninja27
| 5
DNA test is always good haha
By
IOmnomHard
| 10
Okay, I'll jump on the bandwagon here...SURPRISE!
By
fernclogger
| 5
Amnesia???
Reply
GroovyGravy
| 7
Just because op forgot one thing doesn't mean he has amnesia