Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Assuming you're a dude, make a comeback by leveling up and get yourself a real lady. It's harder to steal that then a sex toy.
Bogrbon 27
That's weird as hell. There's not really a strong market for those things used that I know of. It's kind of like thong underwear - once you use it, it's pretty much yours for life, except for some people who might have a weird sexual kink for something like that.
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Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Assuming you're a dude, make a comeback by leveling up and get yourself a real lady. It's harder to steal that then a sex toy.
Dirtysalamander1 13
they took your only happiness away. damn bro!!
Bogrbon 27
That's weird as hell. There's not really a strong market for those things used that I know of. It's kind of like thong underwear - once you use it, it's pretty much yours for life, except for some people who might have a weird sexual kink for something like that.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
They just wanted to inconvenience you xD