By adopted - 03/03/2014 15:55 - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 393
You deserved it 8 553

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probably would have been better to tell her sooner....leaving it until later in life can cause major distrust!

if she knew for 5 years she obviously didn't care much or she would have come to you sooner.

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probably would have been better to tell her sooner....leaving it until later in life can cause major distrust!

plus if she hasnt said anything about knowing.. maybe she's okay with the fact. But you should have told her earlier op

Ya generally if they find out when they are young they grow up with it and don't have a problem with it

How do you know? You have no idea how old the daughter is. The sister could have babysat her when she was four or five years old, which would make her about nine or ten now. "You're adopted" is something that tends to stick with you, even when you're very little.

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OK #24 and still leaving that huge fact until 9 or 10 years old can cause huge trust issues! small children are much more resilient than many people give them credit for but growing up for 10 years and not knowing? you don't know how they will react waiting that long

Everyone seems to be leaving out that fact that OP's sister was DRUNK when she told her niece.

27 she said generally, Even if her statement is not true.

i really hope you guys have degrees...

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An adopted child is just as much her "real" child as any biological child would be. Of all the stupid, offensive comments here, as an adopted child, this one hurt the most.

Yea, thank you 57. My biological parents were drug addicts who didn't give a fuck about me and still don't. My real parents love me to death and all that my biological parents are to me is sperm and egg. They literally have no place in my heart. I hate it when people say "oh you're adopted so you're not a REAL child" it's just so untrue and hurtful. Blood isn't always defined by genetics but sometimes by actions. Blood brothers and sisters aren't genetically related (I'm talking about clans here) but are closer than actual brothers and sisters. Just like my parents love me whether I was their "real" child or not.

I'm adopted. Personally I verify it.

57, I hate when people ask me who my real parents are.

I don't know why everyone is thumbing 13 down. I'm adopted and I've known my entire life. Not a problem. I hate it when people say that they're sorry or ask who my "real parents" are too. There, everyone's ignorant questions answered.

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if she knew for 5 years she obviously didn't care much or she would have come to you sooner.

I'm adopted I don't mind.

Yeah, I have to agree, if this upset her at all she would have went to the op about it.

At least you told her and she knows you werent going to keep it from her. Also, she's been okay with it, for five years. I wouldn't worry too much OP!

Nothing gets me more angrier than people who tell important things to other people when they have nothing to do with it

More angry or angrier please choose one of the above but not both.

What about getting stuck in traffic? Or people who talk through movies none of the viewers have seen before? Or disgruntled babies on airplanes? Or when the notoriously bad internet and cable go out during a miniscule winter storm and your best entertainment option is making absurd and unnecessary lists on FML?...I may have added a little too much bias to that last one.

You should have told her earlier in her life.

Yep, like the day before her sister did. That would have been much more convenient.

If she didn't say anything for the 5 years then surely she can't have minded a great deal. Be happy that she (I'm gathering this from no mention of distrust) still loves you.

so she heard from your sister 5 years ago and never thought to ask you about it?

Maybe she was ok with it and didn't care? Maybe she considers her adopted parents her real parents and there is nothing to discuss? I'm sure if she was upset by the news she would have brought it up at some point.

but I mean if you found out something huge like being adopted then I'm sure you would at least have some questions

maybe she was young and didn't understand it's a big deal.

the old saying goes "the truth comes out when you're drunk"

well... sometimes it really is just the liquor talking.

She might not have been ready to hear it. You don't know how old the girl is, children don't always understand adoption.

You never know how someone will react to being told something as huge as that.

if she wasn't ready to hear it I'm sure she might have been upset (or anything other than the reaction she actually had) and probably said something to the op.

It's not like the mother knew that. The mother had no idea and just because the girl didn't say anything doesn't mean she's okay with it.

yeah ok, suppose she wasn't ok with it, don't you think she would act different? op would have noticed. We all get mad and try not to show it, but there will always be someone to notice.