Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, I found out my daughter was planning a wedding and invited everyone but me. FML
Mr Whiskers takes priority
Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML
Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML
Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Top comments
jtthegr8 26
Condoms... Always handy
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Surprise!!
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Comments (141)
RaizerBerry 3
Apparently you also wernt wearing a condom. Fail.
IOmnomHard 10
Either you're very young and haven't had a health class yet, or you were twiddling your thumbs during sex ed.
IOmnomHard 10
Either you're very young and haven't had a health class yet, or you were twiddling your thumbs during sex ed.
Pandacupcakelove 26
YDI... Think you're responsible enough to have unprotected sex? Then you better be responsible enough to raise your child too.
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
yes because condoms have a zero percent failure rate. why do people always assume it was unprotected sex?
emilyjgraham 34
hey, here's a thought maybe the condom split? even if it didn't it's not necessarily his fault. there could be a number of reasons for having unprotected sex and if you're in a loving, trusting long term relationship and you've been tested you may not use condoms cus she may be on the pill. not that you should know what sex or a long term relationship would feel like as you're 14. and no I'm not ruling out a one night stand just like I said, accidents happen.
tisvana20 6
Well damn, between you and me, that makes two of us! But onto the most pressing minor issue here: What did you get her?
Grimnirwher9 21
Never heard the phrase "Condoms are cheaper than diapers?"
Dunvanation 4
Did you know that pizza was invented in Greece?
jetsown08 21
How is this relevant at all?
Fmlsea 28
how do you not know?and also why would someone wait until now to tell you that's a bit harsh not letting someone know they have a kid.
cubie21 7
Funnily awkward if you were a female... FYL!
ElenaMaria18936 2
Ummm seriously it says the name up above which is nick!!!
thezeke74 6
That happened to me too. FML
rainbowkissies 14
maybe she was just born.. today... maybe OP didnt know that 9 months ago he got a girl pregnant... i dunno. the FML is really vague, we'll never be certain.
DomDomxoxo 16
If she was born today, it wouldn't be her birthday. You don't turn 1 on the day you're born...
JennaLynette 3
How do you think "birthday" got its name? The day of your birth is your birthday. The ones afterward are just remembrance dates of the day you were born. So it is completely possible that his daughter was born that day.
countrygirl626 16
Actually, considering he used the word "had" in the FML, that means that the daughter is turning 1, or whatever age she's turning.
Laura4807 3
Whoops.