By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Spicy
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 829
You deserved it 59 723
Intimacy
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Top comments

Narcoterrorist 6

What makes you think she would be attracted to you if she was under the impression that you ****** herds of ***** with no rhyme or reason?

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Infamous_Tora 12

Complaining about how you are too good, right?

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Comments

Infamous_Tora 12

Complaining about how you are too good, right?

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persianninja 23

I think he is being modest

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Micayla 12

"....about not being able to walk the next day ;)"

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hemz_fml 13

Well obviously that's not true you were just making a joke which added to your charisma!

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_Peppermint_ 34

You shouldn't lie. You'll go nowhere

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30361 10

#2, why does your profile say mister...

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RedPillSucks 31

She/he eschews the gender binary.

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30361 10

I guess that leaves "no customer satisfaction" then...

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Uramonkey 11

They complained that OP's **** was too big! :p

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saad2605 16

Not sure how deep that's going to take you? ;)

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RoboCunnilingus 23

Not very deep. That's why there were 100% customer complaints.

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Narcoterrorist 6

What makes you think she would be attracted to you if she was under the impression that you ****** herds of ***** with no rhyme or reason?

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dave5124 7

Well if she did consider that a positive, she probably would be the type you want to stay away from.

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MrConcise 34

If the name is any indication, dude's only 18. I know guys who lie about the action they get because it's a pride thing and a confidence booster. Hell, even I did it a little in high school when I was 15. He was probably just nervous.

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bluerara912 12

Damn that was awesome

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salazara 10

Oh dear a Freudian slip.....

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Askzombie 14

Who the heck says 100% satisfaction op........ Especially for their sex life

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mackdeezy 22

Ydi for lying. If you have to try that hard it wasn't worth your time. If she likes you regardless, that's when you know you found a good girl.

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Ms_ValS 27

I wouldn't consider telling lies to be "trying hard". Seems more like the easiest way used by people who couldn't be bothered to try. Doesn't really matter what a person says anyway. It's all in the actions.

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cuppycakeslove 20

Geez saying "100% satisfaction" makes you sound cheesy and lame...like those damn infomercials

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Blackcatluck 19

It also sounds like she's paying him for sex...

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Askzombie 14

Nailed it op...... Nailed it

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cuppycakeslove 20

But he didn't get to nail her

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