By MarkQ95 - 21/07/2013 23:58 - Ireland

Spicy
Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 818
You deserved it 59 669

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Top comments

What makes you think she would be attracted to you if she was under the impression that you fucked herds of sluts with no rhyme or reason?

Infamous_Tora 12

Complaining about how you are too good, right?

Comments

Infamous_Tora 12

Complaining about how you are too good, right?

I think he is being modest

"....about not being able to walk the next day ;)"

Well obviously that's not true you were just making a joke which added to your charisma!

You shouldn't lie. You'll go nowhere

#2, why does your profile say mister...

RedPillSucks 31

She/he eschews the gender binary.

I guess that leaves "no customer satisfaction" then...

They complained that OP's cock was too big! :p

saad2605 16

Not sure how deep that's going to take you? ;)

Not very deep. That's why there were 100% customer complaints.

What makes you think she would be attracted to you if she was under the impression that you fucked herds of sluts with no rhyme or reason?

Well if she did consider that a positive, she probably would be the type you want to stay away from.

If the name is any indication, dude's only 18. I know guys who lie about the action they get because it's a pride thing and a confidence booster. Hell, even I did it a little in high school when I was 15. He was probably just nervous.

Damn that was awesome

salazara 10

Oh dear a Freudian slip.....

Askzombie 14

Who the heck says 100% satisfaction op........ Especially for their sex life

Ydi for lying. If you have to try that hard it wasn't worth your time. If she likes you regardless, that's when you know you found a good girl.

I wouldn't consider telling lies to be "trying hard". Seems more like the easiest way used by people who couldn't be bothered to try. Doesn't really matter what a person says anyway. It's all in the actions.

Geez saying "100% satisfaction" makes you sound cheesy and lame...like those damn infomercials

It also sounds like she's paying him for sex...

Askzombie 14

Nailed it op...... Nailed it

But he didn't get to nail her