Love: Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 5 896

Love

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Cow_girl_cutie - 03/08/2011 07:47 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 6 243

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 454

You deserved it 9 306

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 116

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 997

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 342

You deserved it 1 518

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 237

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 2 880

By Nice guy finishing last. - 07/04/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 373

You deserved it 918

By SugarMyBalls - 19/12/2012 23:31 - United States - Winder

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 518

You deserved it 3 149

By blaahh - 19/02/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 17 674

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

Comments

wellinever 5

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:25

Hot and wet! How is that an FML?

maverick21703 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 18:55

I think the FML is the fact that he counts telling his girlfriend she is hot as flirting.

_anonymoose_ 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 4:12

#31 is right. OP, YDI for caring.

Jordna 0

Monday 8 March 2010 19:26

Yeah, how is this an fml??

WhyComplain 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:30

This is the biggest problem in your life and you complain about it? You have a girlfriend, be happy!

ifuckingrock 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:31

Oh, my god, your girlfriend has a bladder, I feel so bad for you.

cocainewhore 30

Thursday 19 June 2014 18:42

I feel bad for the girlfriend. However busy he is, if he really loves her, he'd make time for her.

EmperorChowilio 21

Friday 27 June 2014 0:52

shut up you know nothing you cocaine *****..... sorry I know it was mean but, I couldn't resist

cocainewhore 30

Friday 26 September 2014 22:24

I know nothing? Excuse me. But I'm that was uncalled for. If they want a relationship to work then they have to make time for each other.

brenton490 19

Saturday 7 May 2016 23:17

I believe his girlfriend is defective they aren't suppose to have those.

MrZed_fml 11

Saturday 4 June 2016 23:10

Your name #98

jimmyjimjobobo 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:58

hardly an fml, if it's through IM it's not like it won't be there once she gets back...

v1kt4r 13

Tuesday 29 September 2009 12:58

WTF???? how did this even get on here, were the moderators out of options.

UpYourself 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:13

To be fair, I modded a bunch of FMLs today (not this one) and they were honestly pathetic

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:29

He's right. The recent ones have been just ridiculously terrible. This would be in the top 1% of all of them. Sad but true.

LadyAlathia 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:02

Once again clicking YDI in lieu of "Who the **** cares?".

fretforyerlatte 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:46

this.

Lakus 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:05

How is this a FML? Everyone needs to urinate once in a while.

HaveNoShame 3

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:18

A woman who pees?! You poor man.

24788 6

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:21

Are you that whipped that you can't tell your girlfriend that you don't enjoy when she does that? Does she rule with an iron fist?

BeeSkwaird 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:28

If she never came back, that would be one thing, but... seriously, OP, WTFC? Girls rarely respond to "hot" anyway. Try gorgeous or beautiful or maybe even pulchritudinous! (Haha :)