Work: Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely...

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 106

You deserved it 4 841

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 18:05 - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 2 613

By Dreamer - 03/07/2012 06:22 - United States - Castro Valley

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 655

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 01:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 351

You deserved it 4 758

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 188

You deserved it 2 569

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 414

You deserved it 1 582

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 514

You deserved it 4 234

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 848

You deserved it 31 199

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 324

You deserved it 3 455

By Joe - 25/02/2009 19:05 - United States

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 017

You deserved it 45 685

kelsorg 21

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:11

well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl

cakefete2 30

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:11

Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.

Comments

kelsorg 21

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:11

well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl

friedpwnadge 25

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:32

Great support for an insanity defense!

Danny_Boy12 13

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:59

I feel for you OP, my dad tells me crazy stories of the people he has to defend in court. It must be a headache for you...

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 5 July 2014 7:16

Unfortunately, #12, you can be disbarred for purposefully not defending your client.

BSnapZ 21

Saturday 5 July 2014 14:12

#50 If he's a court appointed lawyer, then the client won't be paying anything.

Miss_Whipped 43

Saturday 5 July 2014 23:25

Reminds me of a joke that explains why there's a code of ethics against sexual relations between lawyers and their clients: you'd be paying extra for essentially the same service.

cakefete2 30

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:11

Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.

ChristianH39 30

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:14

Exactly, I wonder what makes the defendant think that would work against a lawyer in the first place

lexiieeex3 32

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:46

The guy sounds like a sociopath...

domolovesyoshi 33

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:17

except most sociopaths are better at it than this idiot

cina5 19

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:11

Hey OP, I doubt the judge believed him.

fsomelife 26

Saturday 5 July 2014 9:17

Not to worry -- he's next to be accused by the dude whom OP's defending.

DrippingSarcasm 20

Saturday 5 July 2014 6:12

Wait, so what happens in this case? Is it automatically ignored or do you end up... questioned, or whatever might happen? Sorry. I know it's a stupid question.

tiernang 21

Saturday 5 July 2014 8:00

I don't think he would be allowed to be a lawer on that case, and would then become a suspect. No matter how stupid the blame, I believe those are the rules.

ThatHorse 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 7:30

You're right 40. No matter how stupid and insane he sounds, the lawyer is now a suspect in the case. At which point they'll stop the trial long enough to start looking for evidence, questioning both the lawyer and the suspect, and find a new lawyer.