Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML
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Top comments
kelsorg 21
well, if you're good at your job you can prove him wrong! fyl
cakefete2 31
Well, at least you're familiar with the case. You should be able to defend yourself easily.
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Comments (83)
redstone7693 29
Go home, your drunkz
martin8337 36
He may need a psychological evaluation.
thevelociraptor 31
Well if the judge isn't a dimwit he/she will be able to tell that he is lying. And you, being a lawyer, should be able to defend yourself...
ThatHorse 15
Doesn't matter. Most countries require that the lawyer now be questioned and any evidence for and against him be gathered and presented.
redstone7693 29
to be honest OP, just try your best to convince the judge that he is bullshitting!!
RedPillSucks 33
I'm pretty sure the judge already knows
Wingman527 22
Damn that sucks. FYL
weveallbeenthere 30
lol, shift the blame, cast reasonable doubt, he gets off. or he goes to jail and the world is a better place.
Aquaman911 18
He should plead Insanity
Enslaved 38
I think people fail to realize that it's the lawyer's job to get their client off, right or wrong. The OP is going to lose his case because the guy isn't allowing him to defend him "correctly".
brittney_taylor1 16
A lot of family members of mine are in law enforcement of some kind. I'm sure you won't have to worry about anything. They deal with a lot of crazies and have probably heard something like that before
worldclassrager 41
Then the question is why would you defend him if you were in on it? Just some way to keep his story true?