By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 01:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 367
You deserved it 4 762
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Top comments

Sir_ND_Pity 35

I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.

665 7
BananaDildo 1

McDonalds is now accepting graduates from Swag University. Maybe he'll get in.

446 7

Comments

Sir_ND_Pity 35

I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.

665 7
spaboolly 26

I'm sure it will get him far in prison. With the inmates looking for a... good time.

136 5
Sir_ND_Pity 35

11 - And I'm sure prison will go far into him!

140 2
SexySlayer1248 18

What would be sad is if the client is in their 40's or 50's

79 3
msworldwide 8

that guy should be convicted for two crimes: robbery and the use of the word "Swag"

119 0
masterofflight 8

yeah, in prison he will learn not to drop the soap

35 9
isallwaysme 27

i wouldn't let him try it. the lawyers winning percentage would most definitely go down. and so would the robber if you get what i mean

14 37
fareith 15

He probably stole the swag from me in the first place

9 74
Christala 8

"swag" should have only one usage: promotional loot acquired at conventions and tradeshows. ie "Check out all the swag I brought home from CES!!!!"

55 2
rawr_ily96 24

I apologize for my generation's behavior. Now... Who wants to go throw rocks at swaggots?

92 10
slimjim8094 12

Why is rape a horrible thing unless it happens to guys in prisons?

60 6
jjmiller1001 17

b/c most of the time when it happens to a guy in prison, they usually deserve a much worse fate

49 11
fareith 15

#113 - You are so ignorant. Plenty of people are in jail for other things. Not everyone is a rapist and murderer. Shame on you.

42 37
doubleddun 9

Yeah but the guy would obviously be charged guilty and that would go on ops record.

7 12
Laurenluvz 11

I have to agree with 120. From murder, or robbing... Dressing like a "****" or flirting with people (I'm aware it's most likely a guy) No one deserves to be raped. Wishing or doing such a thing regardless of how terrible a person is just terrible. It shouldn't matter where someone is or their condition, Absolutely no one should be put through such things. He committed a crime. Jail is good enough. But wishing rape upon someone is not fair or okay. I don't care really if I get downvoted for my lack of sense, grammar, or if people disagree, just speaking my opinion.

32 14
purpl3fac371 5

An eye for an eye leaves everyone half blind. :/

13 15
RoboCunnilingus 23

I thought it left everyone blind except for one guy. He's a cyclops now.

21 1
alice_18 16

Then they won't be in the same security level prison as the people who do deserve a fate much worse.

0 0
BananaDildo 1

McDonalds is now accepting graduates from Swag University. Maybe he'll get in.

446 7
soccerstar1996 18

I definitely think it's called BallSoHard University

33 2
mkid232 15

I work at McDonalds, and we wouldn't hire this moron.

42 1
mkid232 15

Yes, fml for having a job that I enjoy. >.>

39 2
yesyesnonono 10

Probably not much. You think this dumbass has a job? I'm thinking OP is a court-appointed lawyer if he's defending someone who has "swag"

27 1
mackdeezy 22

What a ********. OP I give you credit for seeing this through.

107 5
friedpwnadge 25

It's a ******* captioned picture from the Internet, turned into a ******* FML, OPs have reached new lows.

1 11
TwitchingNebula 17

I'd say you've now got a good case for the insanity defense at this point.

174 5
xALEXx_fml 15

Haha ohwell. But thanks for the correction #12

21 9
Iknoweverything 29

Right... because OP totally went to law school to defend swag... Not to mention, if OP's a public defender, he's probably making next to nothing compared to law school debt.

11 0
Azail 15

I imagine the judge would hand down the death penalty for that defense

12 0
TwitchingNebula 17

Or tell him the real meaning and let him say that and walk around prison with his pants sagging. I'm sure that shit will get cleared up real quick.

37 4
MiscHats 14

i'd love to see the judge's reaction if that defense was used

100 1
lisslyi 19

The judge might be too old to understand what "swag" means lol.

1 12
jessi_sunshine 26

I'm sure the look on the judge's face could easily be summed up with, "You've got to be ******* kidding me." And the attorney's subsequent suspension.

9 1
Ladisa 28

#14 - Maybe they would look similar to your picture?

5 3