Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
By
poo4brains
-
28/4/2012 04:42
- New Zealand - Christchurch
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
Nanobytez
| 5
I'm in Ohio and we call it Pain.
By
bellaxmonkeyx_fml
| 8
3) A Chinese burn (also referred to as an Indian burn or other burn related name depending on the locale) is the act of placing one's hands on a piece of someone's anatomy and twisting in opposite directions while applying pressure. It's usually done on the wrist of the aforementioned unlucky victim.
Comments
By
ChloeG_fml
| 9
How sweet of her! Lol
Reply
ExManiac
| 1
Depends.. Was there sweet and sour sauce involved?
Reply
AugustBurnsToast
| 14
'How can I wake him up in a way that involves his penis?...Oh perfect!' lol yes what a pleasant wife he has.
Reply
9) She was clearly just in need of sweet and sour sauce and took matters into her own hands. What, too soon? (:
Reply
ExManiac
| 1
I approve.
Reply
Rachel1987
| 4
I was thinking she's less sweet and more sour.
Reply
AwkwardPartyBear
| 24
Or she is simply a Sour Patch Kid.
Reply
xoconnie
| 8
wait why would she do that..
Reply
smartassking
| 0
Cool , cooking lessons :D
Reply
iceman420son
| 7
No that girl would be his mom
Reply
iceman420son
| 7
#93
Reply
kyarush
| 10
With her mouth? Giggity
By
laurensauren
| 9
Sounds like you picked a keeper.
Reply
Climaxx
| 11
Maybe if she kissed it better! Or tho, in this situation I don't think that would have helped :|
Reply
VictoriaSchultz
| 8
Atleast she's still interested in his man hood
Reply
Feared
| 9
That's when you reach over and do it to her boobs.
Reply
BABYPUNCHINGGUY
| 0
Or as I like to call it OP, a handjob gone bad.
Reply
shadow10262000
| 7
you like to call it this because it happens all the time to you or as you do it to others a lot.
Reply
jab7769
| 8
Put Ben gay on her clit and tell her pay backs a bitch.
Reply
kshafer08
| 7
I'd put her back to sleep with a choke hold.
Reply
Pudagiah
| 12
Am I the only one who thought it was strange for OP to have an erection while sleeping? I mean, yes, wet dreams, but if OP has a wife he's probably past his pubescent years.
Sorry, I'm a girl. I don't know about this stuff.
Sorry, I'm a girl. I don't know about this stuff.
Reply
BABYPUNCHINGGUY
| 0
119 you were closer on the first one my penis now looks like a snake thats been ran iver multiple times by a gan of rednecks in their truck
Reply
Sketchisan
| 27
@221 There's this phenomenon called "morning wood". Most men experience it. Something to do with a full bladder in the mornings. I would look it up.
Reply
bigboy4676
| 1
Your retarded. You would just take it. Ya huge pussy.
Reply
Randomfalla
| 4
Stfu bitch
By
CcShh
| 4
What's a Chinese burn? :s
Reply
CheckItOutItsYou
| 7
Something no man needs to experience.
Reply
3) A Chinese burn (also referred to as an Indian burn or other burn related name depending on the locale) is the act of placing one's hands on a piece of someone's anatomy and twisting in opposite directions while applying pressure. It's usually done on the wrist of the aforementioned unlucky victim.
Reply
Headcrab
| 29
Ha, we call that a snake bite over here. And that sounds painful btw, on your wang.
Reply
chatoyant_fml
| 12
Thousand eels in Sweden HA
Reply
marinus_fml
| 19
Camel bite in Australia :p
Reply
parsonova
| 1
Isn't it supposed to be thousand needles in Swedish? Tusen nålar. That makes more sense to me...
Reply
Sidel
| 11
47 and 66: it is thousand needles. Thousand eels makes no sense.
Reply
Pudagiah
| 12
I'm Australian and I call it a Chinese burn!
Reply
Jennielee
| 6
I'm in Florida we call it Indian burn
Reply
Nanobytez
| 5
I'm in Ohio and we call it Pain.
Reply
Eila1996
| 5
Same here!
Reply
cBlackout
| 13
In Cali its Indian Burn. At least in San Diego, anyway.
Reply
illoveyouu435
| 0
I'm Australian and I've always called it a Chinese burn. :)
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
Call it an Indian Sunburn where I am
Reply
PussyPredator
| 6
Leave it to the Americans to start talking about what each individual state calls it.
Reply
shadow10262000
| 7
what a retard
Reply
M_Rainbow
| 7
I'm Chinese ,but I don't know what it is.
Reply
Michaelsgirl04
| 9
leave it to a foreigner to make a stereotypical statement about americans
Reply
chatoyant_fml
| 12
Yeah ofc it's thousand needles, don't know what's up with my head today
Reply
maximusvas
| 0
Same in sac
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
In my primary school in London we used to call it "Indian Burn" when you twist opposite ways and "Chinese Burn" when you twist both hands in the same direction. Yeah...we like to overcomplicate shit in England.
Reply
whattheforkdude
| 0
In Washington, we call it Chinese burn.
Reply
nunes36
| 20
From south Africa. And here we call it a donkey bite:P
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
121 - Yeah, because Americans never make stereotypical comments about other countries, right? Anyway, I'm gonna go ride my polar bear to the Tim Horton's drive through to get some maple syrup to decorate my igloo :)
Reply
DoctorWhooves13
| 5
I love your pic!!
Reply
Michaelsgirl04
| 9
134: I see the irony in my comment escaped you. I was making a stereotypical statement about foreigners making stereotypical statements about americans. it's a vicious cycle really
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
I know, I just felt like making an igloo joke. Leave it to an American to think foreigners are fucking idi- Wait! This is what got me into this mess in the first place!
Reply
Seh971
| 5
In Colorado we call it an Indian burn haha
Reply
MizzErikaHart
| 8
To: Person who said "snake bite", where r u from? Just curious. My stepdad called them snake bites but I never heard anyone else call it that before til now..
Reply
Yorih
| 19
114 - what, did you want to leave it to the British to name what its called iin each different state?
Reply
jester613
| 2
Thats because some of our states are as big as some of your countries.
Reply
In Ottawa it's an Indian SUNburn :)
Reply
thebeautybleeds
| 17
I'm in Manitoba and no one calls it the same thing.
Reply
cherish0809
| 11
Indian rug-burn in South Jersey
Reply
jonn090
| 13
Snake bite in nyc
Reply
motherlovahh
| 7
Yes it is.
Reply
car8o8line
| 5
Illinois and we call it an Indian burn
Reply
afropuffjake
| 9
I live in the Coachella Valley (SoCal) we also call it Indian XD
Reply
brydogg56
| 0
In riverside too
Reply
prendog
| 0
Lol
Reply
zecha_fml
| 1
I'm french and I'm pretty sure we call it snake bite.
Reply
knight0748
| 5
NYC here, always known it as Indian burn. Never knew about Chinese burn. And I'm chinese American.
Reply
swedishviking
| 3
Tusen nålar
Reply
dbt88
| 15
I'm in Wisconsin and I have always heard "snake bite."
Reply
Isoldael
| 25
In the netherlands, we call it barbed wire :)
Reply
tosch678
| 2
So sayeth "pussypredator"? Because when you want maturity and open minded mess you talk to the one who calls themself "pussypredator"
Reply
whogiveaashit
| 3
We call it a snake bite in Minnesota!
Reply
Headcrab
| 29
@146: I'm from Belgium.
Reply
ragzy
| 7
51 - a camel bite is a slap with a curled hand, usually on the leg in Spring when the shorts come out. As two other Aussies have said in Oz we call it a Chinese Burn.
Get your school yard abuse terms correct please!
Get your school yard abuse terms correct please!
Reply
SexyHindu
| 2
Hey just to let everyone know, nobody gives a flying fuck what they call it where you're from
Reply
llamafish
| 25
198 - I give several flying fucks, thank you very much.
Reply
Takesown690
| 3
Indian burn in IL
Reply
JimmyDevotion
| 4
51, A camel bite is when you cup your hand and slap someone on the arm or leg.
Reply
Llamacod
| 11
I've heard it called both a snake bite and an indian burn. Minnesota
Reply
live4tomorrow
| 7
It's called a snake bite in Canada. dx
Reply
live4tomorrow
| 7
134-Ahaha ftw!
Reply
abbyabb
| 4
Haha same in texas
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
Here in western Canada, I always heard it called a "snake bite", but sometimes "Indian burn" alternatively (with thanks to Bart Simpson).
Reply
marmlr339
| 14
In Australia (easy coast anyway) its called
A Chinese burn.
A Chinese burn.
Reply
Tolerate
| 4
I call it a snakebite too, i'm Canadian
Reply
MickMitch
| 0
Shit just got real son
Reply
PaperCandles
| 0
I'm from wisconsin and we call it snake bite
Reply
kocoman500
| 2
Polarbear's Asshole in Canada
Reply
hollenbackam
| 12
Thanks for clarifying. I've always known it as an Indian burn (in MT). I wonder who came up with the names for these things anyway?
Reply
Devyn333
| 16
Indian burn in Missouri
Reply
greenwich1945
| 13
Chinese burn in England :)
Reply
buddy565
| 7
Wth? I live in Ottawa and I've never called it that before in my life
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
114- I'm Canadian. :
Reply
Lludes
| 5
Well technically none of us living in America are actual Americans unless your an Indian, just a bunch implanted mutts.
Reply
Lludes
| 5
What is a Chinese American???? Are you Chinese and American Indian?If not, then you are simply Chinese.
Reply
Lludes
| 5
None of us living in America are actual "American" unless your an American Indian. We're just implanted mutts whose ancestors stole this country from the Indians.
Reply
omfgshiz
| 7
I'm Chinese and I have no idea what a Chinese burn is until now.. :/
Reply
Ludes, you're an idiot. They aren't "American Indians" they are called Native Americans, Christopher Columbus mistakenly thought they were Indians.
Reply
annemarte
| 4
I'm in Norway, and er call it "What the hell?!"
Reply
wildsweetchild
| 19
In Russia it's called nettle
Reply
janiebaby
| 6
In wisconsin its always been called a snake bite!
Reply
Mademoiselle_fml
| 34
I live in the coachella valley (coachella itself, actually) and I've never even heard of this thing o.o
Reply
MCxFrost
| 1
In Canada it's called a snake bite
Reply
PussyPredator
| 6
LOL! I started this:)
100- I wasn't talking to you.
121- I'm not a foreigner. Just so you know.
149- No
190- Let it be told.
100- I wasn't talking to you.
121- I'm not a foreigner. Just so you know.
149- No
190- Let it be told.
Reply
K3u
| 0
We call em ndn(indian) burns over here
Reply
triggerhappy501
| 0
I call it a divorce
Reply
abcd165
| 0
I'm american and even I hate stereotypes but gotta admit that was funny :) btw that stereotype that all Americans are fat- not true at all although there are a lot of em here
Reply
Luckgoof4587
| 0
You're a bitch. Not all of us are Americans. And not all Americans are like that. So shut up.
Reply
cobalt062091
| 0
Call it indian burn in mississippi
Reply
stevenJB
| 24
I'm from the rosebud Indian reservation and we call it a Snake Bite. :p
Reply
SpAZtiiC_Boii69
| 0
Aussie!!!
Reply
kendra19977
| 0
Way to make fun of Canada... Fuck u
Reply
maxisis_fml
| 6
In Minnesota we call it an Indian burn
Reply
akg98
| 13
Yay 4 california!
Reply
linarahmany
| 6
231 has some issues as my cuzin wouldve said what's you issue!!!?!?! Not problem but issue:)
Reply
kiwirules_fml
| 0
In france we call that la brûlure indienne :)
Reply
emmaz_fml
| 6
We call it that in Colorado too haha
Reply
purplegal27
| 3
haha in NY we call it a bracelet , " You want a bracelet ?" "Sure why not--AAAAAAAAAAH OWWWWEEEE
Reply
nicoleolivieri
| 3
I'm in Canada and we call it a snake bite
Reply
secret_ninja_gal
| 12
We call it a sunburn ...(I'm in Canada)
Reply
thegoldenbird
| 11
Snake bites are slightly different than Chinese burns
Reply
fantasyworld
| 37
I call it an Indian burn.
Reply
biebahood
| 15
I'm an Indian n we call it "red hands" here o.O
Reply
malikbahaa
| 21
Snake bite - in canada ?
Reply
OzzyTheGiant
| 14
in Soviet Russia, you burn Chinese
By
aly_pinay22
| 8
No happy ending? ):
Reply
DCFan
| 9
Its crazy how lotion can be the difference between complete bliss and a living hell.
Reply
Llamassss
| 21
I don't think I would trust her to handle me anymore after that.
Reply
sweetpea41800
| 0
It's an FML it's not supposed to have a happy ending
Reply
zombicidal
| 11
a happy ending ina massage is when after it happens the name is given a full release
Reply
MerrikBarbarian
| 9
Uh name? I think most happy ending places make a strict point not to release names. Just sayin.
By
tika12991
| 14
wow. uh... why?
Reply
happle
| 21
It's the most secretest secret and we aren't going to tell you.
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
More importantly if we told you we would have to kill you.
By
123josie123
| 11
What makes her think that that's a good idea?!?
Reply
jannielovesjack
| 0
Maybe she just sucks at giving hand jobs....
By
ambamm135
| 7
Oh you poor soul..
By
eddyg94
| 11
I hope you punched her in the face.
Reply
PrimeEvilTahir
| 23
I hope I punch u in the face! Do u actually want to punch women?!
Reply
yahoowizard
| 16
I'm sure that the punch to a face is nothing compared to a Chinese burn on the penis
Reply
eddyg94
| 11
I should probably make clear that I don't generally condone violence to women or men.
But there is nothing on earth that justifies a penile chinese burn!
But there is nothing on earth that justifies a penile chinese burn!
Reply
3rdbass
| 9
You've never had a girlfriend, have you?
Reply
sweetpea41800
| 0
Domestic violence much?????
Reply
DiruKitty18
| 8
And I hope YOU rot in hell for promoting domestic violence. Yes the Chinese burn sounds bad but, common dude really?
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
101- I find it very, very ironic that you're telling someone to rot in hell (which, if you ask around, is a pretty violent statement) for suggesting violence on someone else. Take the plank out of your eye before you complain about the splinter in someone elses.
Reply
SparkleBunny123
| 0
Are you on meth! You don't hit women! Asshole!
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
I'm pretty sure it was a joke people.
Reply
eddyg94
| 11
Ok calm down everyone, I suggest you read the disclaimer a few comments down from the original before commenting..
Reply
FlotatiousTurd
| 1
so what the wife is doing isnt domestic violence?
Reply
kperkins897
| 8
There would have to be a long, philosophical debate about that, and throw some psychologists in there too. There's no direct answer.
By
SkoomaKi
| 25
Is it just me, or does that count as a handjob? At least your little guy will be a glowing red colour.
Reply
ycrem0n
| 20
If hand job : Chinese burn, then blow job : (insert your sick ideas here)
Reply
rattusrattus
| 18
Blow job: bite the penis.
Reply
SkoomaKi
| 25
#31 - For the love of god, do not bite the penis! Your boyfriend or lover or husband will never forgive you!
Reply
fgsuperman
| 20
Coming soon to a theatre near you...'Blow Job: Bite the Penis'.
Reply
rattusrattus
| 18
It was my 'sick idea' for the answer to the verbal reasoning question. I know not to bite the penis.
Reply
mannykatany
| 9
I would hope......
Reply
twisted_cherub
| 14
I wouldn't call it his "little guy", SkoomaKi. OP must be packing if his wife can get both hands on it, side by side, in the fashion it takes to give an Indian burn (what I grew up calling it).
By
rattusrattus
| 18
I don't even have a penis, and it's hurting in sympathy!
Reply
capper44
| 18
Hahaha lmao #11 u just made my day hahaha :D
Reply
Pinkfl0yd
| 9
Phantom limb pain