Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Pr0metheus 7
Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...
kayleebearr 6
YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .
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Comments (243)
Coffeebang 17
Someone's sensitive
sknabc123 8
Take a joke , she said something so you make her whole night crappy ?? I'm sure she's having a good time crapping her brains out , and ps. Any husband who is seeks enough to lace his wife shouldn't be trusted pps. Don't complain , you deserve it
lrgenesis 19
Shit happens
chelseaaa92 7
Not cool..
THE_A_TEEN 28
Let's see, she joke's about your penis, and you "retaliate" by giving her laxatives? LAXATIVES?? The same over-the-counter medication that can hospitalize a person? You know what I think? You are a ******* immature asshole. You resorted to using medication for revenge, and she has been there for an hour. I hope that after this you learn from your mistakes and mature a bit. If not, there is no hope for you. You ******* deserve it!
TheJawsman 18
You know what? F*** YOU. Insulting a man's manhood can have lasting psychological consequences. A lot of you all don't get that. Besides, a lax practical joke is usually funny.
GLaDOSv1_09 19
171, how dare you insult not only my sense of humor, but my psychological abilities as well. I'm GLaD that I now know a joke you're a fan of.
amisenho 11
#171: Oh, no, we totally get it. It's like when a man tells a woman she's fat or that her breasts are too small. You don't think that has lasting psychological consequences? I guess anorexia and bulimia are myths, plastic surgery is at an all-time low, and he was "just joking" about her being fat or inadequate in the boob department. Sorry, but I don't buy that, dude. If OP wanted revenge, he should have said something along the lines of making fun of her weight or breasts, not slip her drugs without consent. What he did was like retaliating a Nerf dart with a rifle.
wittygirl 8
She divorces your petty ass you'll know it's cause of being a jerk learn to take a joke limp penis.
kristen69 0
YDI! Make fun of her in some way. That's just wrong. My dad did that to my sister because she hide his teeth and she was in pain. U jerk.
deequu 20
YOU'RE SO STUPID. Return with a joke & take a joke. YDI
mattorama 15
She should have shat all over YOU for being such a ****.
lightbulbman101 4
you could have just said she has a smelly ******