Health: Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring...

By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 57 864

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Same thing different taste

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 172

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 110

You deserved it 4 851

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 4 384

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 2 887

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 257

You deserved it 27 793

By someone - 01/04/2014 19:21 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 561

You deserved it 12 665

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 373

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 198

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 132

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 902

Pr0metheus 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:14

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...

kayleebearr 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

Comments

flea_of_death 23

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

Wow...immature much? Learn to take a joke -_-

hiitisbrooke 28

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

If that were me I'd go home, cry, and eat ice cream. The forever alone way is always the best! (;

Branflakes78 13

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:34

Your Profile Picture scares me!!

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

Were you the same guy who laced a birthday cake with laxatives?

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:33

Well, what was he supposed to do? He had a bunch left over and, honestly, who likes wasting money?

Xquisite1 28

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

Why not just make a joke about her body as well then rather than screwing around with her bowels. I'm sure that it's painful for her.

meade34 2

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:23

I'm sure he'd rather be screwing around with her bowels right now.

Big_Chives 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:17

That's not cool

idontknowyou123 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:18

inb4 shitty situation puns

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:49

in2late about shit puns in general.

seafoam11 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:22

YDI, way to completely over react. I hope she gets you back in a similar fashion.

linkinpark98 23

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:22

Prepare to sleep on the couch. :3

Random017 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:24

She verbally jabbed you and your response was biological warfare? Sounds like overkill. You deserve it and FHL.

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:35

Time for the nukes? *innocent curious face*

ClaireBear9087 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:26

Did you expect something other than her ******** her guts out? You gave her laxatives? Haha. Learn to take a goddamn joke. Your wife's the one who should have wrote this.