Health: Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring...

By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 57 866

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Same thing different taste

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 172

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 110

You deserved it 4 851

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 4 384

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 987

You deserved it 2 887

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 257

You deserved it 27 795

By someone - 01/04/2014 19:21 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 561

You deserved it 12 667

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 373

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 198

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 133

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 902

Pr0metheus 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:14

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...

kayleebearr 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

Comments

TheJawsman 18

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:49

If you were confident in the size of your package, you wouldn't feel the need to return the favor. Having said that, to all of you dickheads who sided with his wife, know that having your package made fun of (if you are package-impaired) is psychologically troubling...it plants the seeds for greater issues.

lysx84 24

Saturday 28 January 2012 10:44

People are siding with the wife, despite her faux pas, because op resorted to physical abuse. The woman was on the toilet most likely in pain for over an hour. Punching her would have been more humane.

mintypoison 22

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:15

I bet you made fun of girls bodies before. Well guess what, that can actually be pretty psychologically damaging and troubling as well. And he drugged his wife over a joke. That is NEVER cool. If he was an adult and more confident in his size and himself, he wouldn't have to resort to this.

unmistakablyamaz 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:58

Instead of being a douche, why not just retaliate with a witty comeback or a joke of your own about some part of her? But, oh, wait, you obviously aren't smart/mature enough for that seeing as how you think giving someone laxatives as revenge is funny. YDI idiot.

EduJav321 24

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:58

Tell her that its her fault for settling for it

crablegs 2

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:01

that is like the weirdest comeback ever....

kei1108 13

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:06

Oh poor you. Having to listen to her be miserable.. *sarcasm* Really?! YOU'RE the one suffering in this situation?! YDI.

poorjudgement 26

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:11

I'm guessing you lack real understanding of that saying, oryou are referring to your situation as "war". Anyway, that was so low that YDI is minimum of what yoi deserved. And FHerL for having such a bitchy husband.

mama2b3 20

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:22

I don't know what to say other than ydi..

DaneTrain9311 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:33

Meh, shit happens

snafu63 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:53

wow, you're a terrific husband. she makes a joke And instead of joking back you do something as juvenile as tricking her into eating laxatives? FherLife for being married to you, you asshole.