Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Pr0metheus 7
Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...
kayleebearr 6
YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .
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Comments (243)
TheJawsman 18
If you were confident in the size of your package, you wouldn't feel the need to return the favor. Having said that, to all of you dickheads who sided with his wife, know that having your package made fun of (if you are package-impaired) is psychologically troubling...it plants the seeds for greater issues.
lysx84 24
People are siding with the wife, despite her faux pas, because op resorted to physical abuse. The woman was on the toilet most likely in pain for over an hour. Punching her would have been more humane.
mintypoison 22
I bet you made fun of girls bodies before. Well guess what, that can actually be pretty psychologically damaging and troubling as well. And he drugged his wife over a joke. That is NEVER cool. If he was an adult and more confident in his size and himself, he wouldn't have to resort to this.
unmistakablyamaz 4
Instead of being a douche, why not just retaliate with a witty comeback or a joke of your own about some part of her? But, oh, wait, you obviously aren't smart/mature enough for that seeing as how you think giving someone laxatives as revenge is funny. YDI idiot.
EduJav321 24
Tell her that its her fault for settling for it
crablegs 2
that is like the weirdest comeback ever....
kei1108 13
Oh poor you. Having to listen to her be miserable.. *sarcasm* Really?! YOU'RE the one suffering in this situation?! YDI.
poorjudgement 26
I'm guessing you lack real understanding of that saying, oryou are referring to your situation as "war". Anyway, that was so low that YDI is minimum of what yoi deserved. And FHerL for having such a bitchy husband.
mama2b3 20
I don't know what to say other than ydi..
DaneTrain9311 7
Meh, shit happens
snafu63 0
wow, you're a terrific husband. she makes a joke And instead of joking back you do something as juvenile as tricking her into eating laxatives? FherLife for being married to you, you asshole.
vocaloidtiger 12
A lot of these have had to do with laxatives lately..