By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 055
You deserved it 4 834

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If that's not sexy, I don't know what is.

She wants the TP.

Comments

If that's not sexy, I don't know what is.

If you can't handle the little woman going to the bathroom, you don't need to be married.

#1, I never knew what kind of person would be into bumpkins, Cleveland Steamers, Dirty Sanchezes, etc. Well, now, I do! You're pretty cute-looking for a scat-freak.

*blumpkins. Back off, auto-correct!

#55, yes, don't look them up in Urban Dictionary, you'll be less of a person if you do. Trust me, ignorance of these terms is preferable to knowledge.

1: I lol'd in public because of this. Please note that you rock.

That's fucked up

Urine helicopter.

Time for a flesh light.

She wants the TP.

She chose the TP instead if the D

Yes because everyone has complete control over there bowel movements, especially when it turns to liquid... #sarcasm

24- #Keep it on Twitter...

Dont forget #instagram

Obviously I'm not on twitter (don't have one) or instigram (don't really care for that either) would you rather me to just say "what I just said right there is sarcasm"? Thought what I did was easier for you to get the hint without me having to drag it out. Not start a battle with other people because I put a number symbol next to a word.

61 - if you do it right you don't even have to point out that you're being sarcastic. And I honestly rather have you point out that you where being sarcastic than by using hashtags, it's just stupid.

You could've also gone with /sarcasm, sarcasm-off, <-- sarcasm, or other similar things. What you did is actually similar to someone who is offered a once-in-a-lifetime chance, thinks it over and then yells "YOLO", instead of saying something like "carpe diem", or that you'd regret it more if you didn't take this chance. You could have meant either of these, but by yelling "YOLO" you simply went the wrong way in expressing it.

Iagree# KeepThatShitOnTwitter#EvenIfItsSarcastic#NoTwitter#NoInstagram #NoTumblr#ThenHowDoYouKnowAboutHastsgs#

Probably because Facebook is ate up with the hash tag bullshit now.

I'm the great cornholio! do you've got TP for my bonghole?

Since your not from America I'm assuming you don't know Bevis and Butthead isn't relevant anymore. Here to help when I can.

Reminds me of that scene in the change up...but hey, duty calls

Damm bro mood killer im weak

I'm not sure your lack of strength has any relation to OP missing sex.

Can someone translate this please?

I would be happy to translate. "Darn friend, I wouldn't be able to do that because of my inability to stay aroused due to my partners sudden bowl movement. My strength isn't on par with most of the people in society when another person deposits fecal matter into a commode." Scene.....

Better it happen before you got started than during

Like the ending scene in "Miss March."

That's just shitty

That's just so overused!

Hahahahahahaha no.

10- Not only is that comment overused, your comment to the overused comment is overused.

Should have just said Call of Doodie.

Still gotta hit it. Last chance you may get for a while.

Actually, chances are high that the wife would just tell you to, well, scat.

Sounds like a shi.. Haha no could you imagine?