By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 383
You deserved it 57 734

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Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically shitting fire in there...

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

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I think we all know what I have to do.. *starts loading gun*

*Goes and grabs knife and spiked boots*

NNNOOOO *jumps in front of bullet in slow motion and from a low angle to make it more dramatic*

You drugged her with laxatives just because she made a joke about your junk? I'd drug you with a bit of arsenic for that...asshole FHL

*performs combo breaker by saying hello."

*Lowers GoW_Chick's gun* There is a more civilized way to do this. *Rides out in a tank* Lets roll

*hides in corner for having not noticed the combo*

#27 You're one comment too slow! Hahah!

Hell yeah 28, we'll go at them Tank girl style. (Tank girl, google it)

I can't help but notice no one is throwing on cool shades for all this gun slinging and tank rolling.

Does this count?

43- yeah, shit's going down tonight >:D

ANDDD, your wife officially married an asshole

Ladies, let this be a message to you all...never make fun of a man's prized possession.

FirstTigerHobbes, I love you for using that character...you rule xD

81- well I love myself for being me too :3

Sleep with one eye open and some sort of weapon under your pillow, 'cuz when women come for revenge they're out for blood...

*watches from grenade shelter*

*says something stupid that could possibly result in more than 10 thumbs down* *also puts on some shutter shades in a failed attempt to look cool, but instead spells words incurektly becoz he cent see thr kerbird*

I've noticed a lot of love FMLs have people who go Today, my boyfriend says *joke*. FML. They took it seriously, and posters somewhat get it's a joke. Pretty ironic FML, but YDI, ass/jerkoff/douchebag/whatever your insults are.

*tapes broken glass to knuckles*

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Ba da ba ba ba!!!

42- just go back with the cave people now...

"Taking her crap"...

OP finally learned that karma's a bitch. Some things are best left as jokes. OP definitely took it too far.

That's not a prank. You took it a little too far. How is that FYL?!

Wow, remind me never to tell a joke around you OP, I might end up dead.

Because he was probably laying there naked. Thought he was going to get some but nay!

Read the package next time OP

Actually, I do believe he took her crap in the end!

No he didn't take her crap, the toilet did.

I don't know why it's okay for girls to say "oh! He did that! You should have kicked him in the balls!" But not okay for a husband to slip a over the counter drug. I'm not sure on this but I'm not sure if laxatives are dangerous, but I'll say right now that in any which, way, shape, or form is it okay for a ANYONE to kick a man in the balls unless physically attacked. To recap I think double standards are taking place.

Jesus, after I read that I realized that it's worded really weird

super smooth, OP.

That shit didn't sound it came out smoothly. . .

That's shitty.

23- No, just no.

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Insecure much?

Seriously. "And yet you still keep coming back" would have shut her up real quick.

Agreed. She made a verbal joke and you took it to the next level - physical? Then had the balls to COMPLAIN when she was stuck in the bathroom "shitting her guts out" for over an hour like it put you out instead of her? The comment above me is right. Your wife married an asshole.

she deserved it.get over it.

Dude, really? I think a prank in return for a joke is pretty fair. And besides, they are clearly a couple that enjoys jokes.

Someone's not getting laid to tonight

Or ever. He is an ass!! He would be sleeping on the floor.

5- after hearing that hailstorm of shit would you really want to get laid? I'd sure hope not...

Well I probably wouldn't have slipped her laxatives in the first place so instead there'd be a hailstorm of sex

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically shitting fire in there...

"Today, I made a joke about my husbands penis so he drugged me and I spent hours shitting my guts out while he lay in bed. FML"

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Earplugs? Psh, more like duck tape. OP just started a war! If I were him I'd want to keep my mouth shut for awhile.

Duck tape? Ahahahaha

There's a brand of duct tape literally called Duck Tape. I guess they figured they'd take advantage of the common misspelling and make more money.

I would suggest not spooning tonight.

Ewwwwwww. I got a visual of that.

Is there such a fetiche?

113: Do you mean "fetish"? And I'm sure there is. There's a fetish for everything.

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His wife and their toilet elf are finding that out first hand.

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

No. You NEVER make jokes about a mans penis size. I don't care if it's huge, a lot of guys are sensitive about that stuff.

Then communicate, pulling this won't help anything.