By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 402
You deserved it 57 877

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .


Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
GoW_Chick 14

I think we all know what I have to do.. *starts loading gun*

*Goes and grabs knife and spiked boots*

NNNOOOO *jumps in front of bullet in slow motion and from a low angle to make it more dramatic*

Idonebeenhad 17

You drugged her with laxatives just because she made a joke about your junk? I'd drug you with a bit of arsenic for that...asshole FHL

*Lowers GoW_Chick's gun* There is a more civilized way to do this. *Rides out in a tank* Lets roll

Idonebeenhad 17

*hides in corner for having not noticed the combo*

GoW_Chick 14

Hell yeah 28, we'll go at them Tank girl style. (Tank girl, google it)

coletrain11 5

I can't help but notice no one is throwing on cool shades for all this gun slinging and tank rolling.

chell1894 13

ANDDD, your wife officially married an asshole

Ladies, let this be a message to you all...never make fun of a man's prized possession.

Blacksabbath211 9

FirstTigerHobbes, I love you for using that rule xD

n_epic_fail 14

Sleep with one eye open and some sort of weapon under your pillow, 'cuz when women come for revenge they're out for blood...

alphaskater09 9

*says something stupid that could possibly result in more than 10 thumbs down* *also puts on some shutter shades in a failed attempt to look cool, but instead spells words incurektly becoz he cent see thr kerbird*

I've noticed a lot of love FMLs have people who go Today, my boyfriend says *joke*. FML. They took it seriously, and posters somewhat get it's a joke. Pretty ironic FML, but YDI, ass/jerkoff/douchebag/whatever your insults are.

RebekahBrooke 9

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

42- just go back with the cave people now...

PhilipTheDeacan 0

OP finally learned that karma's a bitch. Some things are best left as jokes. OP definitely took it too far.

That's not a prank. You took it a little too far. How is that FYL?!

Wow, remind me never to tell a joke around you OP, I might end up dead.

btstig 11

Because he was probably laying there naked. Thought he was going to get some but nay!

godisnowhere41 5

Actually, I do believe he took her crap in the end!

hawaiianfire 0

No he didn't take her crap, the toilet did.

I don't know why it's okay for girls to say "oh! He did that! You should have kicked him in the balls!" But not okay for a husband to slip a over the counter drug. I'm not sure on this but I'm not sure if laxatives are dangerous, but I'll say right now that in any which, way, shape, or form is it okay for a ANYONE to kick a man in the balls unless physically attacked. To recap I think double standards are taking place.

Jesus, after I read that I realized that it's worded really weird

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
HattedMad 7

Seriously. "And yet you still keep coming back" would have shut her up real quick.

alliewillie 22

Agreed. She made a verbal joke and you took it to the next level - physical? Then had the balls to COMPLAIN when she was stuck in the bathroom "******** her guts out" for over an hour like it put you out instead of her? The comment above me is right. Your wife married an asshole.

turtlemonkey 0

Dude, really? I think a prank in return for a joke is pretty fair. And besides, they are clearly a couple that enjoys jokes.

Redoxx_fml 22

Someone's not getting laid to tonight

may651 14

Or ever. He is an ass!! He would be sleeping on the floor.

5- after hearing that hailstorm of shit would you really want to get laid? I'd sure hope not...

Redoxx_fml 22

Well I probably wouldn't have slipped her laxatives in the first place so instead there'd be a hailstorm of sex

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...

"Today, I made a joke about my husbands penis so he drugged me and I spent hours ******** my guts out while he lay in bed. FML"

GovernorGeneral 8

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Earplugs? Psh, more like duck tape. OP just started a war! If I were him I'd want to keep my mouth shut for awhile.

There's a brand of duct tape literally called Duck Tape. I guess they figured they'd take advantage of the common misspelling and make more money.

lebronesque73091 12

Ewwwwwww. I got a visual of that.

MustangGirl72 9

113: Do you mean "fetish"? And I'm sure there is. There's a fetish for everything.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
btstig 11

His wife and their toilet elf are finding that out first hand.

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

No. You NEVER make jokes about a mans penis size. I don't care if it's huge, a lot of guys are sensitive about that stuff.

Then communicate, pulling this won't help anything.