Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML
Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML
Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
xrainbowshadowx 17
Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.
SuperKnuckels 6
i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.
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Comments (210)
kickuwithmyfist 1
29- nobody likes a kiss ass...
jwebster 8
Commit the bitch!
bulldoghitman97 4
Oh! I can tell thats going to be fun!
Keevarou 17
That, or the ADHD theory, "it's made by the drug companies to earn money, they're just crystal children that will rule the world in the next pardiagram shift" Or a nutcase in Norway talking about condense stripes from airplanes are poison set out by the government, and the only weapon against that is a flowerpot and aluminum stick with crystals pointing at the sky.
alfred07 18
From what I've heard this is what the phrase "staying late at the club" was coined for.
Axipiter 24
Get her a government job. Or divorce your wife for allowing this to happen in the first place. It's what all the kids are doing these days.
ForTheWin23 1
I have ADHD...
Axipiter 24
I LOVE the "Jetstream Is Really Mind Control Chemicals Being Released By the Government" crazies!
ICastillo 25
Just tell her everything she believes is true, and that your an agent assigned to watch her. I'm pretty sure she will leave in a rush and never bug you.
bulldoghitman97 4
Omg! Hahaha I would so do that! and tell her she has 30 days to leave before the government comes to take her away, so she thinks your trying to protect her and she gets the hell out of your house!
skokob 7
Is she part of Doctor Who?