Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML
Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML
Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
xrainbowshadowx 17
Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.
SuperKnuckels 6
i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.
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Comments (210)
honeytrixx 0
Sounds like someone needs a doctor... And medication... Lots of medication
wellnevermind 4
You make it sound like she has some sort of mental disorder... For all we know she might be trolling OP and all the FML community. I got you thinking now.
reddudeover 2
Sounds like op just needs an infusion of backbone to me.
miserypoison 13
Paranoia is a sign of mental illness though. Not many medications out there can soothe fixed persecutory delusions.
bizarre_ftw 22
I think a doctor might be the problem..... It sounds like she watches too much dr who to me
emilyjgraham 34
93, if op got a back bone, his relationship may potentially be over if his wife chooses to stick with her mum!
lolfood 24
...
lolfood 24
Delete this please .
lolfood 24
Sorry, that was meant to be a reply.
SkoomaKi 28
I don't even..
SkoomaKi 28
Move on people, this comment was for another comment and ended up here...
SkoomaKi 28
You should install cameras in the bathroom and buy some fake lizards to put around the house. That'll get her out.
mvems 13
Haha okay I understand the fake lizards, it's the cameras in the bathroom I'm having trouble following. Grammies nude shot premiere? Ow ow!
SkoomaKi 28
Maybe I should've put "fake cameras"...
mvems 13
Ah yes now I see. Bravo.
KingDingALing 9
Don't try to cover up what you just said, SkoomaKi! Now we all know that you install cameras in your bathroom to spy on old ladies... PERV!
violetsweety 26
kingdingaling is a good username for you.
mvems 13
I don't know. Sometimes (well for the most part actually, unless blatantly obvious) I feel like the Internet doesnt properly portray sarcasm, which I think Kingdingaling or whatever his name is, was going for. I see it missed a lot on this website. Specifically my own sarcasm haha
mvems 13
Or maybe sarcasm is just not an Internet device haha
lolfood 24
#3 Is THE perfect reason, and Noor, I freaking love your comments.
rooney0710 5
Mother in law*
rooney0710 5
They be weird cause they are not like your mother
olpally 33
Shame on you for correcting the FML story when it's not your job! mods, remove this phony!
Eiregal2 10
was she watching doctor who and confused it for the news? because there is an episode when these aliens shape shift about to try and get into the government system.... ya OK,I'll take my nerd brain and go
ImaginaryFoe 1
How is Doctor Who considered a nerd thing? The Slitheen weren't lizards though and they weren't really shape-shifters, just dressed up in human suits. Though you may have a point as one of them moved to Wales. Hmmm...
RabidBunny 10
The reptilian threat is imminent!? I thought we still had time >:(
robbydoherty 0
Try the bk lounge
SkoomaKi 28
No stay! :( We need more nerds.
Eiregal2 10
then I shall stay!!! NERD POWER!! (VULCAN SALUTE)
auzz1_pride 9
I don't think vulcans salute. It's more of a hand gesture and live long something something.