Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML
Today, my mother-in-law moved in with my husband and I, where she shits the bed and herself. There's a waiting list for the nursing home, so in the meantime I’m cleaning up her shit and she isn’t even my mother. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML
Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML
Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML
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Top comments
xrainbowshadowx 17
Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.
SuperKnuckels 6
i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.
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Comments (210)
stereochick16 1
As soon as you said mother in law the rest doesn't matter... Get her out!
HerrBawl 4
She's a Dr Who fan
OffToTheGayBar 9
It's the mother fuxking aliens, man! They want us all, man! No one's safe, man!
comeatmebroo6254 1
Go along with it. Then dress up in a lizard costume and wait outside the shower door.
daizttgg 9
What are you a warlock? Who uses the term wench?
SkoomaKi 28
Me. As in British people.
Toonz321 4
Lol im intrested
ImaginaryFoe 1
Sometimes you don't even realise a term is regional until it gets questioned online. I thought wench was fairly common. The more you know ?
wellnevermind 4
Hahaha, love the randomness at point 3. Didn't expect that!
ntd309 14
She has a point though it may be inaccurate. The shape shifting lizard phenomenon refers to David Icke's theory of Reptillians. And your mom-in-law is valid with the microchips. The RFID chips are the final plan to solidify the New World Order. Some people in the US already have RFIDs in them. US GOVT wants to chip the troops "for their safety". This vacation with your mom-in-law will be a wake up call to you.
calilovergirl 4
You worry me thinking of conspiracy so much; rather than the conspiracy itself. People like the mother and law and you won't live your life the way you should because of irrational fears.
downtime 13
75, The main problem with conspiracy theories is they usually rely on there being some sinister individual in government with actual plans. Most government programs and plans are a result of a fumbled mess of opinions from various people, that gets filtered down to others who will mess it up a little further before it actually gets incorrectly implemented to later be blamed on the other party. So don't worry, odds are anything that you need to worry about will be the result of some bumbling around rather than some power hungry malicious being.
lynz90 2
It's not a fear so much as just be aware of what is actually going on in the world and not believing everything the gov't tells you... I'd say it betters your life, but not when you're afraid to shower, that's a tad irrational! Haha
bulldoghitman97 4
Spot on #179!
deathtothepix 26
Give her a blog and a youtube channel whilst she's living with you. That should occupy her enough.
Raylosophy 10
So I guess it's til death do u part with the mother-in-law as a roomate. Lol
matrixx01001 4
Ever considered maybe she is right? It's sad that she has a different perspective then you and consider her "crazy". This is ****** up in every way