Her husband is the one making important decisions without even discussing them with her, which shows just how committed he is.

^agree. it's simple talk to your husband and tell him.

44, That doesn't really show a lack of commitment in my eyes; more of a lack of communication between the OP and the husband.

47. why wouldn't you just wash them? lol

#77- that's the point you wash and clean the underwear and it's all better.

wow, she's probably senile, and needs help.

It was in the vows right. Till Death or your mom moves in.

thanks for clearin that up 93

44, Well said

I ment 47, Well said lol sorry

I agree. She's a little too willing to just walk away. And if OP hates the mother in law that much it sounds like she needs to do some work on herself. Oh and I'm sorry. But if my wife threw a fit because I offered the person who put me on this earth a place to live when they needed it she'd be in trouble!

What?

deal with a mother-in-law then talk. trust me, they make you want to pull your hair out when they visit. idk if I could deal with her as a live in.

182. if the she doesn't like the mother in law so much and didn't want her to move in the husband should respect that. when you get married your meant to cleave to each other, not have a 3 rd wheel. it doesn't mean op should be disrespectful, but op's husband should know better. he probably already new how his wife felt, but he couldn't say no to his mum. hubby needs to pick up his balls.

karma will give you a mother-in-law-from-he'll and let's see you then, talking from your high cloud. you obviously have no idea what frustration feels like...

thats not lacking commitment .. thats having a dumb ass selfish husband who thinks he can do whatdver he wants and not hav consequences ..

true

I agree with everyone saying she's too willing to walk away, but I do not think this is so much about the mother-in-law or however you spell that (sorry). If my husband made this decision without ANY discussion, I would have a problem too. Letting the mother move in is probably the right thing to do, but there should be some involvement of the wife in this decision. Period. It's not a small decision that only affects the husband.

Your just a kid what do u know... Dump his ass the mommas boy, it's what his mother wants anyway

the reality is when he married her, she became the most important woman in his life. No one should ever be forced to live in a bad situation, like living with someone you hate. Forcing his wife to do that is a breach of their relationship and will have a negitve affect on the marriage. The 2nd issue is he think he can make life altering decisions for the family without consulting his wife. Those are HUGE issues people. OP is right to have doubts about her marriage. #3 If the mother-in-law is in need, maybe a short negotiated stay. If its a permanent thing like health there are places better equipped to handle her needs, she will not be better off if she is in the care of someone who hates her. That kind of strain is a lot to take on even when you love and get along with them. If its not a health thing there is no reason to moch off her son!

True love, or any love for that matter, doesn't involve letting someone walk all over you. Seeing beyond your comfort and happiness is one thing, but this is definitely an example of something that should have been decided on as a couple because it directly affects the both of them. She may be the one contemplating divorce, but her husband, who we're supposing is completely aware of his wife's relationship with his mother, is certainly at fault here as well.

Couldn't have said it better myself. OP needs to talk to her husband and drill it into his head that major decisions such as that should be thoroughly discussed between the two of them.

25 - True, but if having an in-law living with you is the worst problem in your marriage, then you should be fine

It depends on the in law. My fiancé would love to see my dad fall off a cliff. He won't attend any family functions that my dad is at, won't go on any family vacations, and won't go back home to visit with me. He's tried several times to be nice and everything but my dad just keeps being an asshole to him so my fiancé finally just gave up. There are some in laws that you just can't tolerate.

waaaa waaaa divorce is expensive you would be dumb to do it over that. it can't be for ever!!

Some in-laws are worth divorcing over.

uhhhhhh NO!

rbg is right on. This FML is a red flag minefield.

I agree, aard, but I'd have to add a clarification: A monster in-law plus a spouse who tolerates it and refuses to set boundaries could certainly justify divorce. I don't take divorce lightly at all, and it's always a last resort, but sometimes... You have to marry the family, but not the family's dysfunction.

You can't get along with some people! I've tried to get along with my in laws for 23 years and they are still douches! You have no idea what OP is going through!

yeah like mine !!!!

This seems like a not crazy and well thought out way to handle the situation.

Let her move in, but change the locks every day.

It's his house. Quit your bitching.

trust me she isn't overreacting. soMe days I can't even look at my inlaws. they can be a pain in ur ass sometimes for no reason at all except they just are.

thinking about divorce as soon as something ***** you up IS overreacting. Of course it might be a huge problem to have his mother in the house, but that's too much

Amen!

I mean Amen to Missy!