By kayt240 - 04/05/2011 05:41 - Canada
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I agree. She's a little too willing to just walk away. And if OP hates the mother in law that much it sounds like she needs to do some work on herself. Oh and I'm sorry. But if my wife threw a fit because I offered the person who put me on this earth a place to live when they needed it she'd be in trouble!
182. if the she doesn't like the mother in law so much and didn't want her to move in the husband should respect that. when you get married your meant to cleave to each other, not have a 3 rd wheel. it doesn't mean op should be disrespectful, but op's husband should know better. he probably already new how his wife felt, but he couldn't say no to his mum. hubby needs to pick up his balls.
I agree with everyone saying she's too willing to walk away, but I do not think this is so much about the mother-in-law or however you spell that (sorry). If my husband made this decision without ANY discussion, I would have a problem too. Letting the mother move in is probably the right thing to do, but there should be some involvement of the wife in this decision. Period. It's not a small decision that only affects the husband.
the reality is when he married her, she became the most important woman in his life. No one should ever be forced to live in a bad situation, like living with someone you hate. Forcing his wife to do that is a breach of their relationship and will have a negitve affect on the marriage. The 2nd issue is he think he can make life altering decisions for the family without consulting his wife. Those are HUGE issues people. OP is right to have doubts about her marriage. #3 If the mother-in-law is in need, maybe a short negotiated stay. If its a permanent thing like health there are places better equipped to handle her needs, she will not be better off if she is in the care of someone who hates her. That kind of strain is a lot to take on even when you love and get along with them. If its not a health thing there is no reason to moch off her son!
oh my....what did she do? it is his mother after all. you need to sit down and have a conversation with your husband about this...divorce isn't necassary. Get a job promotion in Hawaii or something and move far far away! but seriously, do talk to ur hubby. fyl, op.
If you live your husband, then it shouln't matter! Why divorce over something little? Try to get along with her! For him! That's TRUE love!
True love, or any love for that matter, doesn't involve letting someone walk all over you. Seeing beyond your comfort and happiness is one thing, but this is definitely an example of something that should have been decided on as a couple because it directly affects the both of them. She may be the one contemplating divorce, but her husband, who we're supposing is completely aware of his wife's relationship with his mother, is certainly at fault here as well.
It depends on the in law. My fiancé would love to see my dad fall off a cliff. He won't attend any family functions that my dad is at, won't go on any family vacations, and won't go back home to visit with me. He's tried several times to be nice and everything but my dad just keeps being an asshole to him so my fiancé finally just gave up. There are some in laws that you just can't tolerate.
I agree, aard, but I'd have to add a clarification: A monster in-law plus a spouse who tolerates it and refuses to set boundaries could certainly justify divorce. I don't take divorce lightly at all, and it's always a last resort, but sometimes... You have to marry the family, but not the family's dysfunction.
Just tell him no. Keep the door locked when she comes with her stuff. She can't move in if she can't get in the house.
You sound slightly overreacting....although I think, allowing his mother to stay, without asking you (considering he knwe that you hated her, doubles the following) is proof that he doesn't think to much about his actions. That being said, I still won't go with fyl because you can easily uninvite her again, since it is also your place. Also, as mentioned: your reaction sounds over the top