Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
bubbsorcuz 10
ouch, that just ain't right
suosi 21
kill him
whatcouldgowrong 14
I would have lost it to so I don't blame you
missyfiona89 28
too*
mezochan 29
Woah, watch out! We have a grammar nazi on the loose!
FilipinoDude9 16
I bet this grammar nazi is scrolling through all the comments *to correct everyone.
kitsuneluvuh 12
Holy shit dude, I hope you seriously punished your kid.
Baguette666 12
Murder is enough! Whisky is one of the best alcohol around plus the sentimental value and this dumbfuck kid mixed it... it's already a crime to mix old whisky but it's even worst here
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Kill him.
MaltWarrior 32
Grounded. Forever.
Naatya__fml 25
Okay, I understand how mad you are. But maybe if he knew the value of the wisky, he would not have used it. I don't know if you explained that is was very valuable and you were attached to it sentimentally. But if you didn't, how could have he known? Tell him how it hurts you and why he shouldn't have done that. He will probably feel guilty and apologize.
darkmatou_fml 19
I don't know about you, but I ask my parents if I can use things before touching them, you know. He doesn't have to go on a full essay on why his son shouldn't touch his belongings, that should be common sense. Plus if he had a "surprise party", I'm sure he didn't ask for permission to throw a party in the first place and probably didn't care much about the value of Op's stuff.
catherinecas 30
My parents raised me to respect other people's property and to not throw parties without permission.
Hydiin 5
Ground him forever
NoOrdinaryNZer 28
Good advice from a naked mole rat.
GrumpyGrinch 23
Voted "your own fault" because even if it was a secret party, you should have explained about the value of the bottle long ago, it was in the family for generations, not arrived by mail yesterday. And that part with Pepsi or even if it was Cola - who should have taught the kid some sense of self preservation? You!
mezochan 29
Yeah. Kinda sounds like the OP's kid is a douchey teen with no respect for his parents property in the first place. So even if he did know he probably just didn't care! I don't see how that's op's fault.
olillia 16
What in the world would possess you to think that just somehow in all these years the kid hasn't learned about a family heirloom?? And even if he didn't get "taught", he shouldn't be throwing a party without permission and he shouldn't be drinking without permission and he shouldn't be touching things other people bought. He knew damn well it was wrong. You. Don't breed.
chill99 15
Show him a photo of your great-great-grandfather so he can associate a face with what he just wasted. Sometimes just grounding isn't enough, so maybe if he can put a personal connection to what he did wrong, then maybe he'll truly be sorry.
I_Like_Dogs 28
Then slap him so hard he swallows one of his cheeks.
False_Stupidity 42
Preferably an arse cheek...