Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
benedictjongoh 10
get a new son
drrobotnik1 18
you mean ex-son, right?
triformed 14
I hope you turned green also then grabbed his ear and peeled him like a banana.
militarybrat 21
YDI. That shit needs to be locked up.
bapbap_fml 15
Ground him and make his life hell for a few months. See if you can find a similar vintage of whiskey online and make him pay for it.
cecedarling 21
I would be spanking his ass, teen or not. And that would happen before being grounded from everything dear to him until he could legally move out.
rustybucket 24
Wow, OP. That's terrible. I'm sorry for your loss and your son's stupidity.
coatl45 11
I plan on letting my kids have some alcohol after 16 or so, as long as I'm with them. Mostly to let them get used to how it affects their bodies and learn their limits. But a small part is to teach them how to drink. I've only just turned 21, so I don't know much about drinking the good stuff or the fine wines, but I know you don't use whisky like that in a mixer. Especially not with f****** Pepsi. There needs to limits to a teens stupidity. Beat this kids a** like a drum OP, my folks did it to me when I really messed up up to age 15. This idiot needs it more than I ever did.
SubparAtBest 23
61 ur name fits the fml..
BrotherPhil 35
You've obviously failed as a parent if he thinks that mixing what is presumably single malt with cola is in any way acceptable.