Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
laden_swallow09 35
I felt my heart physically sink. I think I'm going to cry, now. No, seriously… getting misty-eyed, here. I am so sorry for your irreplaceable loss, OP. Teach that brat the value of antiques, using all the force available to you!!
AirBusDriver 23
A drop of water maybe, but pop??? You have my sympathy.
LunaJoyce86 15
sorry, but that's what you get for leaving something so expensive and valuable in a place where a teen could get their hands on it to begin with.
JHPugh 19
Teens aren't so incompetent as you seem to think.. Since the son lives with op, unless there's a combination safe with a fingerprint scanner, a kid can get access to most things in the house. I was able to pick some locks in my house by the time I was twelve, if I couldn't find the key
olillia 16
Are teenagers animals that can't control themselves or think? You just rape cultured a bottle of whiskey, congratulations.
DoomedGemini 38
As a teen, I NEVER stole from my parents. Alcohol or valuables. Op's son knows better, just is self absorbed and a complete idiot.
ChoolyBooly 32
I am outraged with you. He had to have known about that whiskey because being that special and expensive I am sure you told him about it. Make him pay you back the cost. Even if it takes him until adulthood. This will teach him to respect your things and to buy his own alcohol when it's legal or otherwise. Plus he will learn to think twice before he does something.
IWishIWasObama 12
The nerve of him! He should have used Dr. Pepper!
danknuggets 2
This makes my liver sad.
bgdkrich 3
if he would have used coca cola I would not have been upset, but ******* pepsi, come on.
cb66baybee 1
If you can't spell Whisky the Scottish way you dont deserve to drink it
Bryce8 11
Seems like it would of been a good idea to lock up your alcohol. Or at least tell him not to touch that whiskey.
gizmodorner 15
yeah, because teens having a secret party would totally listen.
JHPugh 19
Long story short: the kid should be held responsible for his own actions at this age. He owes you monetary value plus sentimental. You now have permission to sell or pawn any electronics, or valuables of your kids. No computer, Xbox, play station, TV, phone, or car. And hold him accountable for the difference, to be paid back in short order. If you don't actually punish him, he won't learn.