Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Let's celebrate
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Dumbass
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Future Darwin Award
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Family values
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Time out
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Chemistry
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
Omniprism 15
Grounded for ******* life.
golden23 10
No one would blame you If you kicked him out or dropped him off at a orphanage where you could maybe exchange him for a kid who should have a chance to experience some the finer things in life's a orphanage can't provide. Plus you would have a replacement so you wouldn't feel as bad disowning your son!
the_real_dvd 21
Unless the whisky bottle was stored in a controlled environment (doesn't sound like it was) the cork would have long dried out. The whisky would have tasted rancid. Contrary to what most people here think, the scotch wasn't aging (it only does that while its in the barrel). This whisky was no longer valuable, except for its sentimental value. In short, your kid drank shit whiskey and you lost a family heirloom.
Calingaladha 21
It could very well have been aged before it was bottled, and stored well. No amount of controlled environment will keep out a teenager who wants booze and can't buy it for himself.
gizmodorner 15
even if the cork dries there are still ways to keep it from spoiling. a lot of Scottish whiskeys have a wax seal.
captainsmegma 12
Never keep the good stuff with the cheap stuff.
Sickofyouidiots 5
Sit your kid down and teach that lil ****** how to drink aged Scotch/Wine Etc, properly.
Renard_fml 10
after that, make him pay for it even if it takes him 10 years
Blusinn 13
Hulk smash!!!!! Hulk not happy.
jenninyc1128 17
The same thing happened to my uncle with his father in law! He had bought a very expensive whisky when he married his wife and had planned to either open it on their 50 year anniversary or on his first daughter's wedding. His father in law opened it at a party and mixed it with a soda. I have never seen him so angry
Quetzal27 12
OP this is just a bad bad bad post. I am so sorry.... I mean what a waste of good alcohol to say nothing of the sentimental value of the bottle. Make your son pay for the approximate value of the bottle or call it his "birthday gift" for the next 5 years. Again this was painful to read.
Mooglefox 24
Kill the ungrateful kid
kendalbear 16
How are you raising your kid, just curious. My parents weren't that strict and I'd still never dare do that shit.