Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
tonijulie 20
Ouch. Damn teenagers.
likice93 7
He would be so dead and grounded he wouldn't even know what the sun looked like when it was all over
ekalfhsa 2
I'm Scottish, and this is a sad FML. Mostly for that beautiful family connection to the whisky (no 'e' for anyone wondering), but also for the Pepsi. I'm not against mixers (I know a man who only drinks whisky and irn bru). But what a way to ruin it! Eesh. Sorry OP :(
theBandit68 17
I'm sixteen and wanna beat the hell outta your son
ArkarTaylor 10
Might as well make him make Whiskey for you. If he asks how, tell the bugger to Google it
blewpanda 5
late term abort that little shit. its never to late
dragoongirl90 34
So... Much... Rage.... No... Words... Kill... Maim.... Destroy....
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Sentimental value aside, your son should not be drinking alcohol at all. If he's throwing a secret party, he obviously isn't old enough to drink, so...yeah. I won't go so far as to say it's your fault, OP, for putting the booze within access of your son, but I do hope you lectured him not only for what he did to your special drink, but for drinking at all.
gizmodorner 15
this made me cry. a branch of my family has been in the spirits business for over 100 years, and a whisky of that origin and age is irreplaceable. i am sorry for your loss. mixing any whisky that isn't rotgut is sacrilege, and if you strike the child down i shall not blame you.
smackthathoe 4
smack the **** out of him till he ******* realises he's been a dipshit