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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
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An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
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Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
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You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
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You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
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You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
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200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
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You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
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You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
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You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
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You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
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See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
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You've commented on an FML that you sent in
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Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
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You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
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You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
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You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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You have thumbed 5000 comments.
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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
Your comments are hilarious. I love the murderer theories. First off, for those guessing this is walmart, you're correct! I almost died laughing. Okay, he had handed me a receipt and I noticed a drop of blood in it. I had just had a red pen leak and thought it was from that. Then I looked at the box. And I stood there going "ummmm...whats going on?" And the old man holds up his arm showing a nickel sized cut that is bleeding profusely. I wasn't sure how to handle such a situation. It's not every day someone tries to return something with blood all over it. So I excused myself to seek a manager. The manager didn't believe me at first. But I told him again and he realized I was serious. After he saw the box in question, he said to the man that he would not even allow me to touch the box. The man was very angry, citing that he had the receipt and everything that came with it. No, I never opened the box. I didn't touch it at all. He tried to get other customers on his side but one said "dude that's blood. I don't blame them. People are touchy about blood. You never know." And then he suggested I should be extra careful because I appeared to be pregnant (which I am not, just really bloated). The old man said "yeah alright" and left without further incident. I went to tell the managers about the second part (where I came back and he was wiping off the box) and they smiled in disbelief and the higher manager said "yeah, we're never returning that" which meant more work for me having to put notes on the registers letting the others know we are not going to return it and why.