Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
bazoo42 25
Everyone knows that Pepsi is much too sweet to use as a mixer.
christopherwilli 14
Not really a secret party anymore is it?
blaherman 12
if he's old enough to party he's old enough to move out
Vintage_Cola 29
**** Pepsi.
Anasazi 10
So you just leave a bottle with such huge sentimental value exposed and also didn't inform your son that this bottle means the world to you? I'm sorry but this is your fault.
JHPugh 19
When a kid lives with his parent(s), they often know a fair amount about the house, such as where alcohol is kept. Do you suggest they keep the alcohol in a combination safe only they know the combo to? It's the kids fault, plain and simple. Doesn't matter if the parents taught them right, the kid decided to party and raid the alcohol without his parents permission. A party planned with permission by the parents may well have went like 'okay, don't break anything, and stay away from our old whiskey!' Or something like that. If this kid is old enough to party he is old enough to take responsibility for his dumbass actions
olillia 16
Wow I would love to be your kid. Breaking your shit whenever I want to on the off chance that you don't tell me that every single thing is important to you and getting away with it.
earlytermination 34
I would KILL him! Punish him hard, OP. Nothing will ever make up for that.
Zeroace 18
Your son is a ******* idiot, just reading this is infuriating, how old was the bottle?
ChoolyBooly 32
On a guess I would say almost 300 years if not a little over that because he wrote "great great grandfather". If his son is a teen (which it sounds like to me) then the dad might be around 30-40 years of age. Assuming his great great grandfather lived to at least 80 and his great grandfather at least 80 and his grandfather at least 80 and his father at least 70-80....add sentimental value and that kid was old enough to know not to mess with that particular bottle. If not well....it still is a bottle to be mourned.
ChoolyBooly 32
On top of that he used Pepsi. Who the **** uses Pepsi with Whiskey? Someone who is just looking to get drunk and doesn't care about anything else. That is who.
LaxGuy26 12
Your son is a scumbag piece of shit
Astrobomb 21
beat his ass omg
vikky538 29
I bet OP Cried blood instead of tears when he saw that whiskey bottle opened