Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
Vlen_fml 20
i too will not judge you harshly for killing him. I do not drink, but i know that good aged whisky can sell for ridiculous amounts of money. If he has a college fund, i suggest you spend it vigorously on a vacation and turning his room into whatever the **** you want as you kick him out of the house as soon as legally possible.
daniel271 13
Beat his ass even if he's older then 18
lexos 16
Please tell me that he didn't add ice.
lysx84 24
Once a mixer is added the ice is irrelevant. :(
crandel 11
Whiskey doesn't age after it's bottled, so if your great-great-grandfather bottled it, it probably wasn't actually worth that much, except as a novelty to collectors. The whiskey was as good then as the day it was bottled. The physical bottle probably retains most of the value as a collector's item. Also, if your son didn't realize it was an antique bottle, it suggests you probably didn't store it in a cellar, so if it was bottled 100 years ago it had probably deteriorated with age because of exposure to sunlight or humidity.
9a_1z 12
Even if it was just matured for something like 3 years... he used it as a mixer with Pepsi. The son is an ignoramus. There was probably a reason that particular bottle had been kept and handed down the generations too, you don't do that for any old (or in this case young) whisky.
KaidensCrow 18
how do you know that op's great great grandfather didn't make high quality whisky? op could have also kept it in a cellar. op's son was obviously a teenager and could have gone into the cellar to get it. he obviously didn't respect op enough to not throw a secret party and drink the alcohol. for all we know, ops great great grandfather was a master at making whisky and aged it for a very long time before bottling it and giving it to his child who passed it on.
olillia 16
You do know that he could have sold that bottle for upwards of 10k right...? Look it up.
murph_fml 21
Use Coke, for Christ's sake. Barbarian.
moo77_fml 20
My son threw a party back when he was younger and his friends went thru some of our older alcohol bottles.. He was grounded indefinitely.. And all electrics taken off him!! I feel you pain OP .. Times a good healer
iamvanillabear 11
off to the orphanage he goes...
Renard_fml 10
dont you mean the grave yard?
LycanGod 27
that kid should be sooooo grounded he should never see the light of day again!!
FFStepchild283 24
I get pissed when company that asks for some Scotch doesn't appreciate it like it should be, and that's only $70-80 Scotch. I can imagine how pissed I would get with a bottle that could be upwards of 100 years old AND bottled by family! FYL
exoticwaved 9
What good is whiskey if you never use it!?
DoomedGemini 38
A memory of your family.