Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
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Top comments
buckdharma 37
Did you yank the right cord?
lilhellian 26
Don't worry that's just turbulence.. Giggity...
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Comments (100)
icanfititin 0
Sex at terminal velocity?
Yarrachel 16
For anyone who is still confused, let's go over what was wrong with this scenario: 1. He's doing this at work. That's just unprofessional. 2. The OP is supposed to have a level of trust in him, since he is her instructor. That makes hitting on her even more inappropriate than if this guy had just been some cashier at a store. 3. She was jumping out of a plane at the time. Even hitting on someone politely really isn't a good idea when the person is likely already nervous. 4.They were jumping out of the plane attached together, and the OP couldn't leave. Saying something like this when the person can't even choose to leave the situation is terrible. 5. Making comments of a sexual nature is definitely an issue of knowing your audience. Sure, if you know the person well enough to know that they will be okay with it then fine, but don't make comments like that to someone you barely know. 6. Compliments are meant to make the other person feel good about themselves. If you have made a comment way beyond what the relationship allows, making the other person uncomfortable, then you have failed! Any questions?
Fman92 9
thank you captain obvious i would have just gone with lawsuit short simple and straight to the point
BigSexy123 11
Sadly, it's not so obvious, as some people (as seen above) still do not get it. I agree with you on the lawsuit thing, though. :P
DutchBasterd 15
is that your mentos or are you a pervert...
annoyingling 1
the question is, was he hot?
RaVeN53 7
Was he cute?
Swag12345678910 2
Ur skydiving but hes muf diving
cartedor 18
Did you guys discuss that very next thing that popped up on the way down?
yusaku02 20
Hope you reported this to the management at that organization.
Geary519 20
did u feel his pack of "mentos" poking you?
roflstomp716 19
somebody call the boner police.