Birthday blues

By omaha24 - 29/04/2020 02:00

Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 563

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 803

You deserved it 126 088

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 185

You deserved it 8 986

Proof

By 30goingon13 - 23/10/2021 23:00

Today, my acne was so bad I got carded for a pack of lighters. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 112

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 3 558

By IDPlease - 07/12/2018 03:00

Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year old man and his 40 year old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 949

You deserved it 185

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 28 475

Generous

By cAtaLanbLoOd - 24/10/2013 06:06 - France - Perpignan

Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 51 640

By Jims - 29/04/2011 14:00 - Singapore

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 463

You deserved it 5 765

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 87

By I-love-my-tea - 09/06/2015 22:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 117

You deserved it 2 010

kenken5 16

Wednesday 29 April 2020 4:54

To be fair, does anyone actually know what day it is these days?

KookieLove666 15

Wednesday 29 April 2020 3:21

happy birthday

Comments

KookieLove666 15

Wednesday 29 April 2020 3:21

happy birthday

Auburn_flame 8

Wednesday 29 April 2020 4:26

happy Birthday

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 29 April 2020 4:35

Smoking will reduce the number of birthdays you have to pull ridiculous attention-grabbing stunts like that.

arther 14

Wednesday 29 April 2020 11:23

OP said in her post that she doesn't smoke.

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 29 April 2020 16:46

Holy shit it's Mark Hamill!

kenken5 16

Wednesday 29 April 2020 4:54

To be fair, does anyone actually know what day it is these days?

bloopaloop 27

Wednesday 29 April 2020 5:24

Should have done that with a speeding ticket

mekiswrite 21

Wednesday 29 April 2020 20:40

Well, you know what they say; "smoke if you got 'em."

Gina Marie Lombardi 14

Wednesday 29 April 2020 20:41

Happy Birthday 🎉🎂🎁🎊🎈🥳

shepardkinz 19

Wednesday 29 April 2020 21:09

Happy birthday, OP!

breefearless 4

Wednesday 29 April 2020 21:19

happy belated bday

Snailfarts 27

Wednesday 29 April 2020 21:45

you could have bought a lottery ticket..

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 530

The Top

Today, I was in the city newspaper for something I worked my ass off on. There was a picture of me working on my creation in the article with a caption, something like, "Chloe B, part of the robotics team." My name isn't Chloe, and I talked to the article writers. I haven't heard back at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 220

You deserved it 699

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 915

You deserved it 10 267

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 789

You deserved it 3 320

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 128

You deserved it 20 732

Today, I went to see Ghostbusters: Afterlife. A family talked through the whole movie, phones on, watching YouTube videos, totally interrupting the experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 159

Today, we gave my in-laws-to-be our wedding invitations. Their first reaction was to assume we needed money and told us they couldn't help pay for the wedding. Their second move was to book hair and make-up for themselves. Congratulations? FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 130