Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
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Top comments
Gemfez 17
don't be too hard on yourself, you would not be the first person that fainted whilst skydiving. At least you were skydiving solo.
Gemfez 17
weren't
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Comments (2)
Gemfez 17
don't be too hard on yourself, you would not be the first person that fainted whilst skydiving. At least you were skydiving solo.
Gemfez 17
weren't
LieutenantDimwit 9
I appreciate it <3 I’ve come to terms with the fact that it was a physiological thing that I couldn’t control in the moment, as opposed to a reflection of who I am as a person. The feeling lingered for a few days but I’m fine now. Thanks for the kind words!