By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista

Spicy
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 691
You deserved it 6 059

Same thing different taste

Top comments

addictedtoIASIP 14

Well at least you know he found you attractive

He was really excited about the skydiving.

Comments

addictedtoIASIP 14

Well at least you know he found you attractive

RedPillSucks 31

Not necessarily. With all the jostling going on, he could have had a boner while attached to a camel

iLike2Teabag 27

You can say he's falling for her.

Of all the ways to be screwed while skydiving, I'd choose this one over something like a defective parachute.

I won't lie, this FML kind of turned me on.

#1 maybe he just gets really excited about skydiving

PerditaDessa 38

118, Nothing quite gets the blood pumping like jumping out of a plane.

He was really excited about the skydiving.

FMLniick 8

OP, was he attractive? If so comment on it and let him know you liked it! You got this girl! The same happened to me when I was at a club

meli1195 31

I don't think ita the same.. He probably had a boner from the rush of falling and im pretty sure that wasn't the case at the club

@51 NO! I meant I felt a boner against me while dancing...

^ Of course your name is Miley. Why wouldn't it be? *Braces self for verbal abuse and mega thumbs down from Miley Cyrus fans.*

Razi_tail 25

Well when OP is going down on him it should be exciting!

Well to be honest it was not his fallt.

I dont know if you meant this as a pun or not.

#46, #3's was a pun. There, now you know.

Or how about: hope you didn't have a hard landing.

imagineapc 11

Maybe he's a shower, not a grower.

That's exactly why I like my men to be baths.

imagineapc 11

Two words, same spelling. Strange how that happens in the English language...

except one of those isn't a real word...

*Maybe he's into showing instead of growing.*

Animekid126 13

She meant that he's already elongated down there when he's hard

Rainhawk94 27

Well when you have a girl pressed against you so close how can you blame the guy?

Heck, maybe he's just really excited about skydiving...

Well for one thing, he's a professional. He's probably pressed against girls a lot.

#47 it's true the adrenaline and excitement could make him respond in a way similar to arousal

Chiroptera_Man 10

Adrenaline rush, maybe? He must really love his job.

I've heard that before, that it's adrenaline. When I went, I was too busy worrying about death to even notice.

I've heard of being a hardcore adrenaline junky but that's ridiculous.

MedChew 19

Let me get this straight, you're about to take a dive more than 10k feet of the ground for the first time, and the thing that bothered you is just a firm object merely resting on your bum? Shouldn't your attention be like, I don't know? The damn altitude? Were you somewhat attracted to that guy to notice this?

Maybe it made her uncomfortable. I don't know a female that WOULDN'T feel uncomfortable with a man's boner pressed against her ass.

#11 go to any club any weekend anywhere and make that same statement.

RedPillSucks 31

To be fair, the tandem instructor has all the control and is the one who will pull the chute. Perhaps she may have been concerned that his boner distracted his attention from monitoring the altitude.

I've never done skydiving, but isn't it the professional who does everything in the tandem jumps? They're on top, therefore wearing the backpack, so I'm assuming they do all the skydiving stuff and the newbie is just dead weight.

Amen to that. Most of them are doing it on the dance floor!

15, that's a different circumstance. In clubs, you're most likely grinding your ass against his crotch, so a boner shouldn't be a surprise. If you're doing something like skydiving, you're not going into the situation expecting to have a dick lodged between your ass cheeks. I would've felt incredibly uncomfortable, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to fully enjoy the experience of skydiving.

Some people just don't understand the nuance of being a smartass.

meli1195 31

Umm, I wasn't aware that the dude lodged his boner in between OPs asscheecks.

41, I understand it. Yours was just a shittacular example of it. That's how bad it was. I had to make up a new word to describe it in all of its failed glory.

I think OP might have misunderstood the harness for the crotch. During skydiving the harness is held from below and tightened, so there is no way a man can have a boner unless he is an iron man.

ostfaiz 18

you might be scared from both the sides :)