By emmamrose7 - 15/08/2014 03:36 - United States - Vista

Spicy
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 556
You deserved it 6 032

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Well at least you know he found you attractive

He was really excited about the skydiving.

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Well at least you know he found you attractive

Not necessarily. With all the jostling going on, he could have had a boner while attached to a camel

You can say he's falling for her.

It's not his fault!

Of all the ways to be screwed while skydiving, I'd choose this one over something like a defective parachute.

I think it was just a pain in the ass.

I bet it was really hard

I won't lie, this FML kind of turned me on.

#1 maybe he just gets really excited about skydiving

Damn, that's a stiff situation OP.

118, Nothing quite gets the blood pumping like jumping out of a plane.

He was really excited about the skydiving.

Skydiving does that to you

OP, was he attractive? If so comment on it and let him know you liked it! You got this girl! The same happened to me when I was at a club

I don't think ita the same.. He probably had a boner from the rush of falling and im pretty sure that wasn't the case at the club

#45 was skydiving at a club?

@51 NO! I meant I felt a boner against me while dancing...

^ Of course your name is Miley. Why wouldn't it be? *Braces self for verbal abuse and mega thumbs down from Miley Cyrus fans.*

Well when OP is going down on him it should be exciting!

Read this in the voice of Smeagol.

That must have been hard

Well to be honest it was not his fallt.

I dont know if you meant this as a pun or not.

#46, #3's was a pun. There, now you know.

Or how about: hope you didn't have a hard landing.

Maybe he's a shower, not a grower.

That's exactly why I like my men to be baths.

Two words, same spelling. Strange how that happens in the English language...

except one of those isn't a real word...

*Maybe he's into showing instead of growing.*

She meant that he's already elongated down there when he's hard

Well when you have a girl pressed against you so close how can you blame the guy?

Heck, maybe he's just really excited about skydiving...

Well for one thing, he's a professional. He's probably pressed against girls a lot.

What's the next thing #64?

#47 it's true the adrenaline and excitement could make him respond in a way similar to arousal

Adrenaline rush, maybe? He must really love his job.

I've heard that before, that it's adrenaline. When I went, I was too busy worrying about death to even notice.

I've heard of being a hardcore adrenaline junky but that's ridiculous.

Let me get this straight, you're about to take a dive more than 10k feet of the ground for the first time, and the thing that bothered you is just a firm object merely resting on your bum? Shouldn't your attention be like, I don't know? The damn altitude? Were you somewhat attracted to that guy to notice this?

Maybe it made her uncomfortable. I don't know a female that WOULDN'T feel uncomfortable with a man's boner pressed against her ass.

#11 go to any club any weekend anywhere and make that same statement.

To be fair, the tandem instructor has all the control and is the one who will pull the chute. Perhaps she may have been concerned that his boner distracted his attention from monitoring the altitude.

I've never done skydiving, but isn't it the professional who does everything in the tandem jumps? They're on top, therefore wearing the backpack, so I'm assuming they do all the skydiving stuff and the newbie is just dead weight.

Amen to that. Most of them are doing it on the dance floor!

15, that's a different circumstance. In clubs, you're most likely grinding your ass against his crotch, so a boner shouldn't be a surprise. If you're doing something like skydiving, you're not going into the situation expecting to have a dick lodged between your ass cheeks. I would've felt incredibly uncomfortable, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to fully enjoy the experience of skydiving.

Some people just don't understand the nuance of being a smartass.

Umm, I wasn't aware that the dude lodged his boner in between OPs asscheecks.

41, I understand it. Yours was just a shittacular example of it. That's how bad it was. I had to make up a new word to describe it in all of its failed glory.

I think OP might have misunderstood the harness for the crotch. During skydiving the harness is held from below and tightened, so there is no way a man can have a boner unless he is an iron man.

You did have your cereal this morning, did ya?

you might be scared from both the sides :)