Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML
Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
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Top comments
buckdharma 37
Did you yank the right cord?
lilhellian 26
Don't worry that's just turbulence.. Giggity...
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Comments (100)
jetsown08 21
I think the appropriate solution would be to steal the parachute, separate, and watch him plummet to his death. At least, that's what I've learned from the FML community!
PenguinBitch 43
Or your Jets team.
lilhellian 26
You've learned well my young padawan..
jetsown08 21
14- Yeah kick us while we're down why don't you :(
spekledworf 18
Yeah that guy will plummet faster than Sanchez's QB rating
Brett41 10
A guy with no parachut will fall faster than.. than jets..with no fuel left.. that were hijacked.. uhh.. the NY jets suck, okay?
buckdharma 37
When you landed, did your feet touch the ground?
PenguinBitch 43
Did he say strap in or strap on? ;)
DocBastard 38
At least he can't say he went down on you. Oh wait, yes he can.
PrincessPesa 20
That all depends on the landing position.
Cartera 10
Wouldn't it be down with you?
Kidkaplan 19
Thats y u have a spare parachute on the plane
lilhellian 26
I'm guessing Op is new to this activity and needed a little help.. Plus I don't think she had much of a choice...
CharresBarkrey 15
You can't skydive alone without being certified, which takes a few tandem jumps to acquire. I doubt OP is certified.
chrissy2 28
Probably wanted to make you even more nervous haha.
PrincessPesa 20
That lame pickup attempt crashed long before OP and sexual harassment sky man even landed... Don't you just hate being stuck next to a creep on a flight?
Fmlsea 28
That would of been an awkward ride down , hopefully that didn't take away from your skydiving experience too much!!
jessi_sunshine 26
*would have
twiztedone 19
I don't think that's how he wanted you to go down!
Eivana 37
Oh shit! Pull the cord! Pull the cord!