It's not you, it's you

By Anonymous - 22/04/2016 20:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 636
You deserved it 1 762

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Honestly, if I were the friend, I wouldn't let myself get in the way of two people wanting to be together.

In a perfect world, you get the perfect girl and the perfect friend. In this world however, it seems you get neither. Life sucks sometimes.


In a perfect world, you get the perfect girl and the perfect friend. In this world however, it seems you get neither. Life sucks sometimes.

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That's awfully sexist of you, and chatting won't really solve that much. I mean she has liked him for many years, I'm assuming, it won't be resolved with a talk.

I think it's trying to communicate, anyone have any idea of what it's saying?

Even if someone had a degree in advanced linguistics and a proficiency in Klingon I don't think we'd ever be able to decipher what it's trying to communicate.

He may have worded it like a complete moron, but he's still telling the truth. It's definitely not something all girls do, yet I've seen plenty of them pull this stunt before. If I were the OP, I would just talk to dream girl and disregard the friend's apparent feelings for him. If it's anything like what I've seen in the past, she only said that to keep OP in her pocket and doesn't really have feelings for him. If that's not the case, then damn. FYL.

When life just isn't fair... Sorry OP Hope everyone comes to a satisfying understanding soon.

Honestly, if I were the friend, I wouldn't let myself get in the way of two people wanting to be together.

The girl OP likes might just not feel comfortable dating him, knowing how her friend feels about him, even without her trying to get in the way. Depending on how close they are as friends, and how serious the feelings are, I can totally understand that, I would feel horrible about dating a guy a close friend is madly in love with, even if the friend in question would tell me she'd want us to be happy.

Exactly, the friend had her chance and never took it, never said anything, claiming you like someone only after you see him with another girl is just selfish.

It depends on how close the girls are in my opinion. If I had been talking to my best friend about a guy I liked for awhile but didn't tell my feelings to (for various reasons) I know she'd feel uncomfortable about dating him. It also could be that the dream girl doesn't want to **** up her newly found friend group with dating drama. It's a similar reason to why I have a policy not to date friend's siblings: if I have a nasty break-up with them how would that change the dynamics of our friendship?

PhoebeBuffett 13

Last year, a good friend of mine started dating the guy who she knew I'd liked for a year and a half, and lemme tell you, it absolutely sucked. They broke up at the end of the year and decided to go for it again, and this time, they are much more comfortable with the PDA. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but it's still a little uncomfortable. So I totally respect what you said, I just wish it had been that easy for me.

GrapeJuice67 17

She confessed her feelings. You don't reciprocate them. There's no easy way around this situation, but this is a silly reason to not date someone (i.e. Crush wants to avoid 'drama' which won't happen if everyone's an adult about it). I just...ugh. OP your friend is super shitty. Just preventing you from dating the current girl you like by confessing RIGHT. AFTER. all that went down won't make you like her any more.

Okay.. so the one friend would feel awkward about dating him knowing her friend likes him...sure.. but you know the other friend would be like YESSS... if he asked her on a date.. even though he likes her FRIEND and she likes HIM.. how selfish to get in the middle of two people that like each other. Count your losses and find someone else to date. He doesn't like youuuuu.. lol

Aerobic_Exorcism 13

How is it disrespectful to the friend if you date?

FieldLeftBlank 20

Meanwhile under FMLs where OP's friend gets the girl they both like: "omg, you need new friends, you deserve better!!!!!!!!"

Unlucky1232 20

the girl would potentially ruin the friends chances. Thats the logic behind it

BlockOfRedStone 25

@19, Yet the friend already ruined the girl's chances...may as well return the favor.

rldostie 19

I think some honest conversation might clear this up. Talk to your dream girl and explain that you don't have feelings for your friend. Explain to your friend that you don't share the same feelings and that you like someone else but you still value your friendship. If your dream girl feels the same for you, I'm sure it can be worked out. If not, then she's using it as an excuse and sorry, OP.

saxaddict122 14

I think you need to tell your friend how you feel and see if she cuts the girl of your dreams a break. It's worth it if you like her that much.

This hits to close to home. I once knew a guy whose drunk wife stopped him from every having happiness in life. He tried to divorce her but no one would help. Then he got into some union trouble. His name? Stephen Blackpool

It's possible that she tried to get the edge in before her window of opportunity closed, hence her timing. I did it myself once, it actually worked in my favour. Be gentle towards her.

You should just confess your feelings to your dreams girl. If she likes you then she won't give a **** about the other. I mean, come on!

If you think it's normal to "not give a **** about" your friends as soon as you like someone, you might not be very good at this whole friendship-thing.