Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
It's weird that they know when you **********
thxnder 14
Go somewhere else then, or wait until they aren't home, or asleep. Even sit down with them and ask them to stop because its making you feel uncomfortable. FYL, OP.
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Comments (190)
dutchy86 20
maybe you're parents just want to watch? fyl OP....
LCPLStewie 23
whoa... wait.... WTF? I mean.... no just WTF
cakefete2 31
He might be on to something. Maybe OP's parents want to know where babies come from.
8born8 18
I think it may be time to layoff the brazzers vids.
LCPLStewie 23
It would make sense if the op did... how else could they find out 0.o
Pleonasm 36
They must have a sixth sense for these kinds of things. What would you call that?
thxnder 14
The fapth sense. Heh, heh...I tried.
LCPLStewie 23
I approve LOL
yazzy50i5 3
My fappy senses are tingling
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
@29, that sounds like the title of a bad porno. Or a really good one. I'm not sure.
ItalianChaos 14
Spidey Senses
elns_studios 11
135, Your comment didn't work because there wasn't a clever masturbation joke in it, in case you was wondering why.
frank_b102 9
That's slightly weird. I guess they get a whack out of it...
bombielol 20
you're screwed ):
LCPLStewie 23
Well if the OP would stop screwing their self then it'd not be a problem would it? LOL
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
21, No. The OP would just be even more sexually frustrated and resentful towards his parents. Besides, OP has the right to do it and because he's a man, he probably needs it more. Hell all men and women need the release from time to time. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a little private time now and again...
SilverSet 16
The key word in your sentence is sometimes, not every single day. It's not going to kill people if they don't ********** every single day, hell it won't kill them if they only do it once a week.
kozzard 17
The reason OP keeps doing it is because by his parents **** blocking him, he's not getting the satisfaction. Basically it doesn't count if it doesn't complete.
elns_studios 11
21, not masturbating is the direct result of wet dreams, because your body needs to release sperm and if it's not released after too long, it will release itself while you're out cold in the land of "I'm ******* any old bitch I want"ville.
0h_Boy 26
Have you tried getting a girlfriend? She could ask them to leave you alone so you can ********** in peace
LCPLStewie 23
that's a great idea!!! she'll just stand outside your door and instruct them to leave when you finishing off LOL That's a wonderful idea
dehvi 9
Next time they try it stare at them and finish
ilovefall10 21
Walk in on them everytime they try to have sex. That will teach them.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
That really sucks OP. Maybe just do it when you have the house to yourself or when everyone's asleep. Just be more discrete. (Trust me, everyone knows what you're doing when you're in the shower for over 30 minutes)
Oat_Oat 4
I can stay in the shower for ages because I like being in hot water...
Fuhkyoo 17
bust a nut on their loofahs, thatll teach em.
Spyderbane 10
Maybe the parents are tired of cleaning nasty socks, towels, and shirts.