Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML
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Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
It's weird that they know when you **********
thxnder 14
Go somewhere else then, or wait until they aren't home, or asleep. Even sit down with them and ask them to stop because its making you feel uncomfortable. FYL, OP.
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Comments (190)
yarani 26
At least they're not hitting your junk with a Bible every time...
Darksoul09 16
personal experience?
buckdharma 38
********** up in a tree where they would never look for you and practice hitting your dad's windshield like the birds do.
underthesea12 24
maybe you are doing it a little to much
vikky538 29
how do they know u r going to **********..that's the weirdest parents I have ever heard...sorry OP... your hand your tool your rules...just go with it and don't care for anything else...
kf4vkp 3
Take shorter showers and fap more quietly. You either are always jerking it or too loud.
justsomerandguy 8
Maybe it's time to move out.
cakefete2 31
He's like"alright guys I'm off to my room to go... Uh... Read a book." Then grabs a bottle of jergen's as he leaves.
CowTippingDwarfs 21
Just reading this post made me feel really creeped out for you. The fact any parents would do this is beyond me.
destructor2014 3
You do know there's this invention called a lock right? Who takes a shower without locking the door when they live with someone (assuming you do you live with them) who they're not in a relationship with? Just lock the door when you're going to do that. If the door doesn't lock, block it with something heavy.
glabberfasted 16
Locking the bathroom door when showering wouldn't stop them from turning on all their hot water taps. It sounds like OP masturbates way too much, and is not discreet about it.
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
In my house we were never allowed to lock the doors. My mom was a worry wort and always thought that if we locked the doors, we'd end up getting hurt somehow and she wouldn't be able to come help. That being said, my older brother was allowed to have his door closed whenever but she always wanted mine open -.- I didn't get to sleep with my door closed until I was almost 18.
Durantye 8
... I don't even know what to say to such a stupid response
destructor2014 3
Not sure, if your reply is to me or not, but if so, how is it stupid to lock the door when you're engaging in sexual behavior? Surely if this was about kids walking in on their parents having sex, people would tell the parents to lock the door, no? Sure it'd be nice to not have to but if you have a situation where privacy is not guaranteed (i.e. not living alone or not being home alone), then you need to do what you can to ensure you do have privacy (i.e. locking the door). It's not a gaurantee, after all, you can still pry open a locked door with the right tools, but it's better than nothing. And yes I know this doesn't solve the water issues, but they don't HAVE to do it in the shower.
DanielleinDC 34
Doesn't anybody ******* knock? Clearly your parents have boundary issues or they're just sadistic. You're going to have to lock the door, although that won't help if they turn on taps in other parts of the house while you're trying to have a wank in the shower.
QueenSaru 28
I've never locked a bathroom door to do anything. Hell, I hardly even ever closed it.
Attacksloth 33
My parents have caught me before, and they were very sorry and closed the door right away. These parents sound either sadistic, as you said, or they have some kind of serious moral or spiritual animosity towards masturbation.
SilverSet 16
Or OP is masturbating way too often and they want him to get a real hobby, or just a life.