Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
It's weird that they know when you **********
thxnder 14
Go somewhere else then, or wait until they aren't home, or asleep. Even sit down with them and ask them to stop because its making you feel uncomfortable. FYL, OP.
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Comments (190)
Soundslikeothers 15
Next time they walk in just keep going and stare at them, like what? You're not gonna win this round mom and dad! I'm going to finish regardless if you are in the room with me of not!
TabooSushi 24
I agree with a few other commentors: If you have the (ahem) balls for it, make eye contact and just finish your business next time they walk in. Maybe even keep going a few more strokes afterward for emphasis. Skeeve them out REALLY badly. Otherwise, start being more discreet, because you are clearly too obvious about it if they know when you're doing it. If you seriously can't just wait til they're out of the house or asleep, I suggest maybe getting some professional help because that's a little extreme.
cheshireau 26
That's rather inconsiderate. Everyone needs personal time to do what they need to do.
Phoebe18 14
Why do people instantly assume someone is single because they **********? Plenty of people in sexually active relationships and happy relationships ********** a lot! I don't understand all this "find a girlfriend/boyfriend OP and you won't have that problem" getting a partner will not solve that, there's a chance it will only make things harder for OP because any attempts of having sex and ********** will continuously be interrupted by the parents. OP maybe even has a partner! Masturbation does not equal single, lonely, bored life!
LCPLStewie 23
you bring up a good point but lets be honest. I you enjoy masturbation no big deal! if you do it enough to where your parents know about it and can plan for it and the OP is frustrated about it I do not believe this individual is taken
ConstantlyAnna 8
Oh, this is not cool. The man just wants to have a wank, parents! Leave him be!!
brandoneyez1 25
Seems you ********** a lot given they made a game from it.
Alastrina_fml 20
That's REALLY inconsiderate and rude. There are parents in the world who can't [for whatever reason] accept that their kids are sexual beings. If that's the case, the parents need therapy because who in their right minds would stop their kid from a healthy act like masturbating? [religious wackos aside]
thomcmoore 23
They probably will all need therapy, especially if OP takes to finishing while staring at mom and dad.
jojob123456 3
I completely agree
iateapenguin 27
Kinda weird that they know when you're doing it. Are you making weird noises or something?
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
I have a feeling they probably just randomly barge into his room if he's being quite to try and catch him and embarrass him. Of course context is needed, that's just my assumption.
TheCrispyCat 20
If OP's parents would respect his privacy, maybe he would respect theirs.
vlalam 24
Hahaha.. That's hilarious, u have awesome prankster parents.. Can I borrow them? Well, just book a hotel room and charge to ur parents card, they will come to know not to mess with u ;)