Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML
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Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
It's weird that they know when you **********
thxnder 14
Go somewhere else then, or wait until they aren't home, or asleep. Even sit down with them and ask them to stop because its making you feel uncomfortable. FYL, OP.
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Comments (190)
tjw1616 21
your parents are hilarious ^_^
10showgirl 16
A hint for you to move out?
Ki11erC 18
What are you doing that gives it away so easily?
countrygirl109 11
Masturbating right before you fall asleep might make it easier for you. Plus doing it before bed will make you get a better sleep!
truckers_wife 23
but if he's off doing his own thing (pun intended) then they should have plenty of opportunities to have some alone time themselves...
blackychan63 12
Hahaha hilarious!!
8born8 18
zeriously? One does not simply stop masturbating. If I stopped I'd probably go insane or become an extremely angry and spiteful individual. Sexual energy is a very powerful thing and if not released, can turn very nasty indeed.
deathcreep25 14
Why don't you just lock the door?
HeyTherexxx 21
Not all bedroom doors have locks...
x_the_lancer_x 13
Look as hard as you can for your dad's condoms or their sex toys and if you find them, tamper with them. A lot.
stoych 19
Yes. Because every kid wants to touch his parents sex toys. Or be the reason his mother gets pregnant when she's responsible enough to use contraception. Didn't think that one through, did you!?
FunnnyGirrl 19
That's just weird