Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
lat1404 16
It's weird that they know when you **********
thxnder 14
Go somewhere else then, or wait until they aren't home, or asleep. Even sit down with them and ask them to stop because its making you feel uncomfortable. FYL, OP.
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Comments (190)
Umndisish 1
Sounds like a shitty situation
goldens_fml 12
That's Cold. Go in the bathroom, lock the door run the shower but do not get in. They get their kicks, and you get to get off!
IcelandicHeathen 5
It seems to me that you best option OP would be to quit masturbating.
Drian91800 7
How do you get caught so easily?
revidffum69 22
Next time don't stop. That will teach them. I doubt they will keep trying to catch you if they actually do catch you and you keep on tugging. 8=mm=D lol.
Goblin182 27
Australian version of "Failure to Launch:?
IcelandicHeathen 5
Stopping masturbation does not drive one insane, I can tell you this from personal experience and that of other who at least claim to have quit.
kalbrek009 20
I could only see this as helpful if you are either A: A chronic masterbater or B: You're old enough to get your own place & they're trying to give you the hint that it's "time to go".
stoych 19
I've read many bizarre and disturbing FML's on here but I'm fairly sure this one tops them all!! Why the hell would your parents want to catch you knocking one out? That's just plain creepy...
darkfireflame 15
YDI. Chill out on the masturbating dude.