Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML
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Top comments
Michael903 18
Tell her to quit acting like a boob!
Voij 16
Look at the positive side: Free whale-watching-entertainment at your pool party!
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Comments (149)
martin8337 36
OP, if you all were at the beach, harpoons would have been thrown at her.
Chumbowamba 10
Somebody has been watching honey boo boos mom >.< aka jabba the huts daughter
greggly123 6
And you married into this family?
Justice_Beaver 13
"Turned them inwards"... Oh my god...
jw90 18
Does she not know they banned whaling in 1990?
Fluffydemise 18
Do you not know whaling was actually banned in 1986? More importantly, do you not know that OP's mother-in-law is not in fact a genuine whale? Meaning that the legalities surrounding harpooning her in the buttocks and hauling her in may reside in a legal grey area at best?
Thi3fstheme 9
Should've married into a family with class. Get out of the ghetto.
worldclassrager 41
That's mind scaring...
LegolasPrincess 10
Use plenty of bleach.....
Fuhkyoo 17
you'll go blind if you do that.
perdix 31
By my calculations, you should hve purchased at least four overpriced, watered-down cocktails and stuffed about 120 one-dollar bills into her G-string (which is probably a Z-string or an "On Beyond Zebra" lettered string.)
MidnaLink 35
Please tell me you vomited, just so she knows how gross that is!