Miscellaneous: Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath...

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 06:15 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 761

You deserved it 2 250

Miscellaneous

Weird reason to leave, but OK

My booze

No sex, lots of violins

Running late

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 23:01

Today, my in-laws missed a special event for my newborn child because they were running an hour late. They always run late and always think its funny. After 15 years, it's just not funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 189

By juliaspaperbags - 16/08/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 764

You deserved it 8 074

By laurencoc - 31/08/2015 22:50 - Australia - Perth

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 5 102

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 328

You deserved it 28 456

By hnnhyoo - 13/08/2015 21:33 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I got told that I was going to hell for turning down a man that was at least in his 60s. Even after I told him I was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 894

You deserved it 1 636

Nerves of steel

By EdibleCape - 28/05/2020 23:00

Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broken up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 292

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 133

By Bedrest Blues - 24/12/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that we can’t be together because I’m not the person he fell in love with since I don’t do anything all day. I’m 6 months pregnant and on bed rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 561

You deserved it 431

Happy Holidays

By Alone - 27/12/2020 13:58 - Italy

Today, after spending Christmas alone because my bus home got cancelled due to Covid, I found that I have to spend the New Year alone and potentially homeless because my flight home got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 141

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 980

You deserved it 77 487

Tired as hell

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 02:01

Today, I have to wake up in 3 hours for work, the medicine that should've made me sleep 8 hours straight failed and I woke up an hour later, not being able to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 51

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 826

You deserved it 70 460

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 599

You deserved it 3 126

By SharpeOne - 28/12/2010 06:54

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 459

You deserved it 2 555

By Thatguynoonelikes - 29/09/2015 13:21 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 752

You deserved it 6 498

Sounds lovely

By akvan - 30/10/2020 06:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my coworker, who keeps calling me Mexican even though she knows I'm not, is telling everyone that I act like a bitch to our boss, even though she's the one who is always contradicting and fighting with her, and I always try to keep everything professional. No other jobs are calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 58

By AllieG33 - 05/09/2014 02:59 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 608

You deserved it 3 695

By Anonymous - 24/09/2015 01:21 - Canada

Today, I found out my bank charged me $50 for not having any money. Way to go bank, way to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 096

You deserved it 4 139

Delusions

By Ilikeurfmls - 06/09/2020 05:05

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents I think I'm suffering from schizophrenia. They refused to discuss it after telling me, "It's all in my head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 29/08/2012 16:38 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 829

You deserved it 6 915

By willconqueror1 - 22/09/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 222

You deserved it 3 476

By pedestrian - 26/01/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I let my friend borrow my car. She parked it in a towing zone, and it was towed. The best part is, it was towed by a bogus towing company. The cops assure me it's safe in a chop shop somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 544

By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 619

You deserved it 30 652

Classic mistake

By FuhedUp - 31/10/2021 08:00

Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 3 376

By WTF - 27/09/2015 07:57 - Poland - Wroclaw

Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 1 536

By BleakExpectations - 12/03/2017 16:00

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years revealed he'd got me a complete collection of Charles Dickens' novels for £3 from a charity shop. He was particularly proud as he said it meant he could give me one for Christmas and my birthday each year, thus avoiding having to buy me presents for the next 15+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 851

You deserved it 587

By He Hates Me... - 21/10/2015 00:15 - United States - Ogden

Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 379

You deserved it 4 219

By monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 189

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:59 - India - New Delhi

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 158

You deserved it 42 252

By Anonymous - 26/06/2016 13:12 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had to politely nod and say "Ah okay..." as my grandpa told me that he's not racist; he just doesn't think it's right for black men to associate with white women. He's well aware that my boyfriend is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 1 898

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 755

You deserved it 23 129

By zinka - 25/07/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 876

You deserved it 38 002

By jerdub93 - 19/11/2011 08:40 - United States

Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 077

You deserved it 28 284

By wtf - 08/03/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 24 455

By nicolette5785452 - 16/11/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 745

You deserved it 13 319

By varunet2004 - 11/06/2015 19:50 - India

Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 4 515

By airrinw_33 - 21/01/2013 03:55 - United States - Greenwood

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020

You deserved it 5 723

The Dictator

By anonymous - 18/01/2012 05:06 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 065

You deserved it 4 097

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 557

You deserved it 4 827

By Anonymous - 29/05/2015 14:23 - United States - Bradenton

Today, my father told me that my mental health issues, which have been confirmed by multiple doctors and tests, are all caused by the fact that I'm slightly overweight and don't exercise a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 4 758

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