Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"...

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 4 094

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 2 463

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 2 991

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 125

You deserved it 36 898

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 102

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 4 267

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 1 724

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 199

You deserved it 3 019

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 783

You deserved it 2 732

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 1 564

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 483

You deserved it 2 709

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

1989mustang50 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:17

Hahaha fail

raphdragon02 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:26

you posted this in the wrong page.. this is FML, not WTF!

maccagirl 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:56

wtf?!?!?

laylaisbeast 3

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:06

I hope she was JOKING... :L

Thomas_Rothbard 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:21

fake.....so ****** fake

sammsaballerr 1

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:10

lol either shes crazy, or shes awesome and has a great sence of humor. hahaha

skittlesss 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:36

haha , lmao . (;

blanccamaro74 6

Wednesday 6 July 2011 22:46

I feel so sorry for u

bigbisawesome 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:05

well obviously she was smoking some cocaine before she tried to sell u the rice

peacelovehappine_fml 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:24

wow your moms a nut job!!!

Keywords

Work Annoying Management Relatable Transportation Weird Cars Sex Love Kids Abuse Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Farts Health TV shows Dogs Animals AITA Sports Cheating Death Awkward Family Money Cute Doctor

The Top

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 214

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 217

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 846

You deserved it 47 792

Today, my divorce certificate arrived in the mail. Reading it felt like I was punched in the face by a brick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 144

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 4 439

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 2 774

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 5 981

Same thing different taste

Boozehound

Delusional

Top comments

Comments